Imagine a time when it all began
In the seventies' closing years,
A new show -- that would make their careers
Whoever aired it first, even mostly unrehearsed
Would be the "dramedy" pioneers...

Imagine a man where it all began
A producer pacing the floor
At each network, trying to win the ratings war
To create the best new show
To make their viewer share grow
But this was something more...

The big Dick -- took and shook the screen
With overacting ease
"Eight is Enough" -- what a bad piece of fluff
With its dramatic laugh-track cheese
Big shots put it in prime time
Most change the channel away
Just need a good plot, and a better time slot
(But the laugh track is still pretty gay)

Imagine a place where it all began
At a casting call in Hollywood
The producers were looking for someone good
To play the father of the family,
But the president of ABC
Said, "Dick Van Patten. Look no more."

(chorus repeats here)

Imagine a man when it all began
A comb-overed ham-faced hack
Led a clan of child actors, who were all on crack
The producers had a hunch
It could be the next "Brady Bunch"
And TV was changed for evermore...

(chorus repeats here)