When you see that your jokes makes no-one chuckle
There's fascial grimace and strain
And you sense from the crowd there will come a ruckus
From lips constrained and pulsating veins

Then's the time, you know, that you have to go
And skip your off'rin' hand to shake
Just turn around yourself and heel on the suckers
To stick around would be a sour mistake

"I'm gonna show myself out"
"I'm gonna show myself out"
Ask forgiving out loud, make a hasty retreat
And then you show yourself out

"I'm gonna show myself out"
"I'm gonna show myself out"
Ask forgiving out loud, make a retreat
And then you show yourself out

When you're working with words daily by the piece
Then some entendres will come
But the PC-stinking ol' grammar police
Can't enjoy the phat of your puns

And they lay the law with their overrides
Closet minds, stupid and dim
And although they're wrong, excuse your tongue
When you're clearly out on a limb

"I'm gonna show myself out"
"I'm gonna show myself out"
Ask forgiving out loud, make a hasty retreat
And then you show yourself out

"I'm gonna show myself out"
"I'm gonna show myself out"
Ask forgiving out loud, make a retreat
And then you show yourself out
Help yourself out

And you know there's no use hanging around
Dullards aren't lots of fun
Apply a self-extrusion, from crowds of lowbrows
Where they can't get your puns

Walk to the little back door, there's your fist evasion
If big mouth of yours can pull through
But don't quit your punning, there's places online
Where 'tendres are good to go

"I'm gonna show myself out"
"I'm gonna show myself out"
Ask forgiving out loud, make a retreat
And then you show yourself out

"I'm gonna show myself out"
"I'm gonna show myself out"
For crying out loud, make a retreat
And then you show yourself out

Repeat chorus