Well St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
He didn't read my list at all
St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
Have a Happy Hanukkah!

What did I do that was so bad
To get a Santa snub this Christmas?
Pulled pants down to moon someone
But I "ended" up on the bad list
There I was at Jim's witless stand
My speech got a little slurry
Trying to recall what went wrong that night,
But it won't come right back to me.

Well St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
I wish I hadn't "decked" the halls
Well St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
Miedo was my Navidad

Old Como said, "Son, may your heart be white"
I shan't think it'd cost me Christmas
I used all the words on Carlin's list
Until the Priest protested
Then to my complete surprise
I wake up on the morning Christmas
St. Nicholas himself, raised his jolly hand
Flipped me off, I'm arrested.

Well St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
My present's worse than lumps of cole
Well, I'm screaming Santa screw it, screw it, screw it
Only gift I got was BOSE!

(Guitar solo with Dog barking "Jingle Bells")

What did I do that was so bad
To get a Santa snub this Christmas?
Well, now I just put up a MEN-o-RAH
While my tree will go in the trash can
Where'd the old fat guy learn to box?
I'm in ICU in hurry
"Sad Christmas to all and to all a bad night"
Santa Claus can sure kiss my ass

Well St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
Yah yubby bubba deedle dum
St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
Jolly Old Elf-Man is scum

Well St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
Yah yubby bubba deedle dum
St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
Rather have eight days than one

Well St. Nicholas made me Jewish, Jewish, Jewish
He didn't read my list at all
Well, I'm screaming Santa screw it, screw it, screw it
Have a Happy Hanukkah!
Have a Happy Hanukkah!
Yubby bubba deedle dum

Maaaazel Toooov...oh yea!