I scrolled through the channel listings
of my cable company
and I felt my anger rising
‘cuz of what they’re chargin’me.
There’s a hundred worthless channels
which I’m sure they’ll soon expand
but since none of them’s worth watchin’
I’ll be changing cable plans.

I’ve got seven Spanish channels
but there’s no ESPN
I can choose from twelve novellas
but I can’t watch the Big 10
And your public access channels -
who needs thirty two of those?
If we’re talking entertainment,
everything you offer blows.

I left them a few suggestions:
let’s hunt Honey Boo Boo’s mom.
We’ll merge Jersey Shore with Shark Week,
as Al Jazeera hosts Glee’s prom.
The Kardashians and Amish
will trade places for five years,
while the Housewives of Orange County
have to shop for clothes at Sears.

I’m no longer a subscriber -
I refuse to pay their fees
Once I’ve seen the featured movie
I don’t need a twelfth reprise.
Now my evening’s entertainment
doesn’t cost me much at all
Just my fingers and a flashlight -
shadow puppets on the wall.