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Song Parodies -> "Intercourse With You"

Original Song Title:

"Little Red Corvette"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Prince

Parody Song Title:

"Intercourse With You"

Parody Written by:

Immoral Liberal

The Lyrics

Every time I hear Prince's song, all I can hear is a perfectly good example of the Intercourse With You trope; which I like best when done with absolutely nothing explicitly stated, using as many unusual euphemisms as possible.
I guess that you could say
When I talk about dancing sideways,
Don't mean to be crass.
See I'm the kinda fellow
Who doesn't like porno parlance
'Cause it really lacks class.

It might sound kinda dumb
To speak in metaphors about horses,
Baseball, or cars, or some such;
But it makes it sound all right—
All that stuff we do at night—
Which, frankly, I like a bit too much!

By all that, I mean:
Intercourse with you!
Physical act of love! (Oh!)
Intercourse with you!
Relations, and... all parts thereof...

Maybe shouldn't criticize
Those who like to speak their minds—
Plainly say what they mean—
But I get a little sick
Of hearing those ugly words:
Why should making love need to sound obscene?

Believe it or not,
Comparing genitals
To felines sounds disgusting to me.
Please don't think I'm too uptight;
You can light my dynamite,
Then we'll blow up together internally!

Kaboom!

Intercourse with you!
Baby, that's what I crave. (Relations!)
Intercourse with you!
Let's light my candle in your honey cave... (Let's go!)

A flower like yours
Could land me in jail,
'Cause you don't even look like you're eighteen.
Give me your license;
Yeah, your I.D.
I'm gonna try to get access using your touch screen!

(Wow!)

Intercourse with you!
Wanna do your podcast.
Intercourse with you!
Need to merge systems to get us past...

Beep! Boop!

Intercourse with you!
Gettin' in here on the ground! (Right on the ground!)
Intercourse with you!
'Cause here we are:
We're launching our start-up, just me and you;
None else around!

(Intercourse with you!)
We're in on the ground!
(Nobody else is around!)
No, no, no one else around!
(Intercourse with you!)
Think we found it at last... at last:
The combination that gets us past...

Girl, that's quite a pass
Code: yeah, we are in! Wow!
Your insides—
I say, inside—you're so smooth...
Think your core must be leakin'!

Wow!

On the inside at last...
Intercourse with you!
Security—
Security is—uh!—holding me fast!

(Intercourse with you!)
Babe, we're in on the ground! (We're in on the ground!)
Intercourse with you!
I can't get out!
I can't get out!
However, fortunately:
No one else around! (No one else around!)
No one else around! (No one else around!)
Intercourse with you!
It sounds like an Onion article, I know, but this really is my opinion about porno parlance. Otherwise beautiful people swearing like two-dollar whores while comparing various parts of their anatomies to donkeys, felines, and roosters really cuts my engine off, so to speak. If you romantic song writers want to get my engine running again, try getting creative with your language to the point that your steamiest song could be played unedited to a classroom full of kindergartners without getting you arrested.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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