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Song Parodies -> "I've No Hair Anymore"

Original Song Title:

"I Don't Care Anymore"

Original Performer:

Phil Collins

Parody Song Title:

"I've No Hair Anymore"

Parody Written by:

Dr. Oliver Clozoff

The Lyrics

This is the sequel to my "Thinning Hair Tonight" parody of Collin's "In The Air Tonight".
Well you can tell ev'ryone I'm a domed disgrace
Naught but forehead above my face
I've no hair anymore.
You can tell ev'rybody 'bout my pate's bright sheen
You might just mistake me for Mister Clean
I've no hair anymore, I've no hair anymore

I've no hair, or toupee
I won't pay for Rogaine anyway

'Cos I've been talking to the people at Hair Club For Men
And it seems to me it's just too much to spend
I've no hair anymore.
And as for me, I can look like a bowling ball
I got nothing to lose, since I've lost it all
I've no hair anymore, I've no hair anymore

I've no hair, that's okay
I'm not worried 'bout looking cool anyway

All my hair, I'd restore
I'd even take gray
I'd not dye
But I'm too cheap to pay even a dime
I've no hair anymore, I've no hair anymore
I've no hair anymore, I've no hair anymore

Well, I've no hair now, that's okay
'Cos what the hey, I'm still worth billions of quid
And I don't care now what you say
Hey, the biggest sell-out, I did
'Cos I know

'Cos I remember my old times of prog rock fame
But the more hair I lost, the more pop I became
I've no hair anymore.
And I really ain't bothered what you think of me
'Cos all I want is to make soundtracks for Disney
I've no hair anymore, D'you hear? I've no hair no more

I've no hair, not halfway
I look like a Cabbage Patch Kid anyway

I won't be there no more
'Cos prog's just not my thing
Ain't no crime
That it's royalty earning time
I've no hair anymore
D'you hear? I've no hair anymore
I've no hair no more
You listening? I've no hair no more
No more!
Copyright (C) 2013 by Dr. Oliver Clozoff. All rights reserved.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

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Random Onlooker - November 04, 2013 - Report this comment
A real parody! Good job!
WarrenB - November 04, 2013 - Report this comment
A bright and shiny parody.
Agrimorfee - February 16, 2014 - Report this comment
Giggled profusely here, one of my favorite Collins tunes before he got all soft and squishy doing pop, so you hit some good satirical points there in addition to the alopecia amusement.

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