Sign on this line and feel free to brag
Slide me a check and you'll be glad
I know you're hooked and now it's my goal
To hook you up!

Thanks for your business! You're really smart it seems!
Your Dream-Car dreams are reality!
Envied like a king when in a race
Hand me your bills and cruise!

Come see Matt and buy a snazzy new car!
Trade in your lemon for a Jaguar
Come and shake my hand, I'm honest you'll save
Your commute will be bliss, Ride your friends crave

Chicks' eyes will flutter in your brand new machine
Mocked car's on it's very last leg
I won't sell you bad parts
Won't need more repairs!

Please write down your full name
On this Buyer's Order dude!
Rusted gears have made you frown
Hog the road again!

Come see Matt and buy a snazzy new car!
Sure, You'll need to pay but that's not too hard
Here's a payment plan that won't break the bank
Please don't give me a kiss: Madame behave!

[Guitar solo]

You've been hating your gross rodent-chewed truck
And you've been dreaming for a brand new ride
Oil smears have grown throughout your yard
Hand me dough and be a star!

Come see Matt and buy a snazzy new car!
I'm sure you'll get laid for just a small charge
Folks tell you to scram your wreck's in bad shape
Even those cats have hissed at your duct tape

Come see Matt and buy a snazzy new car!
Guys think you're insane since your fumes are harsh
Wanna be the man and score with hot babes?!
Let me hear that "Cha-Ching" and mouths gape!