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Song Parodies -> "Using L'Oreal"

Original Song Title:

"You Can Call Me Al"

Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"Using L'Oreal"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

Beauty's only skin deep, right? It's personality that counts, huh? WRONG! This is an aria to cosmetic assistance in all its three movements.
A gal on my TV
She says, "Guess why I look like a model now?
A really bodacious model, now?
Is it some hocus po-cus?
I got a make-up opportunity
From a Parisian beautician
So I can sell you cosmetics
In extreme soft-focus
Hey ladies, hey ladies
Look great! (by torchlight)"
Far away, coyotes howl
"Purple eye-shadow, eye-shadow
With a no-smear lippy, FREE!
You can work miracles with foundation and a trowel.."

If you be a tub o' lard
If you be a ho..omely gal
They may call you "Fatty"
But Fatty, you'll be Foxy
Using L'Oreal

A gal approaches me
She says "Why don't I get no attention?
'Cept from short little men with a pension
Say, what am I doing wrong?"
Miss, you look uncannily
Like an oil pain-ting
(We're talking Pi-casso
Or something that Dali has
Drawn, drawn)
Your consultant is Sally
She deals with the ugly little bat-faced girls
Our salon, salon
Can repair all nature's accidents
With tints and depilation

If your hair is lank or hard
If you be a fre-eakish gal
Don't stay pale and sweaty
Better get your sorry a**
Some L'O-re-al

A babe walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Ev'ryone's a hot girl
All impossibly thin and brown
What if your eyes have baggage?
You've got a chin or three?
Honey, there's no such thang
As natural beauty in this town
This town!
Cher's down with "replace-a-face"
(For the bling-ed and awf'lly rich)
So you can't frown, can't frown
Coz you've just had Botox architecture
Grinning for eternity
You'll get Oscarslike Halle, Julia!

Once you were a bloated tart
Now you is a fresh-faced gal
Friends will throw confetti
Confetti at your wedding
Thanks to L'O-re-al!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Whenever I'm acting in a play and wearing theatrical makeup, the makeup almost always seems to make me look like Marcel Marceau ... ;-) 555, KR!
john ulvang - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
you're the L'Oreal of making up parodies.555
Rick C - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL! Some great lines (not on their faces though)! 555
Kristof Robertson - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks a bunch, JD, john and Rick!
alvin rhodes - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
well paced and funny as hell (extra credit for taking on a song that's difficult to parody...5s
Rex - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent! And extra points for keeping "bat-faced girl" from the original.
H - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Never thought I'd see a parody of this song... and a good one at that!
Arwen - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
L'Oreal Shmoreal! I'm a Clairol girl myself...=) Great job, KR!!
Red Ant - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Like this the best, "You can work miracles with foundation and a trowel.." LOL (L'Orealing Out Loud). =)
Dee Range - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Send me that trowel and foundation...I'm one of nature's little "accidents" lol.555
Tim Mayfield - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
You could have just called it "You can give me fives" Eye think these padded 5's should make-up for something, she said blushingly.
Agrimorfee - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Ingenious--Amen, Halle Julia!! 555
Kristof Robertson - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for votes and comments everyone. Alvin's right about the OS; it's an absolute byatch to parody, with uneven pacing and odd rhyme schemes. My advice; DON'T DO IT! ;-)
Stuart McArthur - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
gee, you're the master Kristof - although I'm not sure the bat-faced girls would agree - 555

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