Decided to get into sports this year
Wasn't the best decision
"You have to be in tip-top shape"
Where's the coach sending me?

He sent me to a place that was down the block
It was worse than homemade movies
There's something strange about this doctor
Scarred me mentally

Got my physical, physical
Had to get a physical
I got my physical

"Turn your head a bit and cough...just a bit"
"Turn your head a bit and cough"

Got my physical, physical
Had to get a physical
I got a physical

"Turn your head a bit and cough...just a bit"
"Turn your head a bit and cough"

I bent over, he lubed up
Trying to relax on the table
I felt the pain as he dug in
"Why are you so mean?"

It wasn't feeling good, I didn't have a clue
The music wasn't very soothing
He's gotta know that I'm in pain
"Can't you let me be?"

Got my physical, physical
Had to get a physical
I got my physical

"Turn your head a bit and cough...just a bit"
"Turn your head a bit and cough"

Got my physical, physical
Had to get a physical
I got my physical

"Turn your head a bit and cough...just a bit"
"Turn your head a bit and cough"

(Break)

Got my physical, physical
Had to get a physical
I got my physical

"Turn your head a bit and cough...just a bit"
"Turn your head a bit and cough"

Not an enema, enema
Don't give me an enema
Please, not an emema

"Turn around and just relax...just relax"
"Turn around and just relax"
"Turn around and just relax...just relax"
"Turn around and just relax"