Stanza I.
Invasive species they just hate,
So they decided to outlaw some baits.
No worms, minnows or leeches!
They ain't allowed even if dead.
Ontario's nature ministry
Wants us to use baits with plasticity.
I say they've gone too far here;
They are just mongering fear.

Refrain I.
Why did they have to say no live bait?
It's not like the minnows invade.
I just think they got it wrong this time.
Trips unto Quetico
Will absolutely blow;
When I can't use worms, Ganon says "IT BURNS!"

Stanza II.
Don't ask me why I'm disillusioned!
I'm sick and tired of all this convolution
Of rules and regulations
Set up by them for humiliation.

Refrain II.
Why did they have to say no leeches?
I have heard that plastic screeches
Against the mouth of the fish every time.
Oh, Toronto can say it;
We simply won't obey it!
When leeches are outlawed, there are certain flaws.

(Instrumental)

Refrain III.
Why did they have to say no minnows?
I might as well fish from the window
Of my Chevy Tahoe SUV.
It's sensationalized--
At least so in my eyes.
When minnows are banned, it is far from grand.
Why did they have to say no live bait?
I've packed it up, so it is too late.
Soon I'll cross at customs near Grand Portage.
Then I will tell them off
No matter how they scoff
At my good designs; I know I'll be fine.

(Ad lib and fade)