Song Parodies -> "Al Jiver"

Original Song Title:

"Elvira"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Al Jiver"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Alberto, Al jiver
Time to fire this conniver

Shifty-eyed, 4' 7", looks like pygmy swine
His girlish voice will sure make me cringe every time
He opens his mouth to hand us the admin. line
As Foster'd say: time Alberto's gwine

He sickens
Alberto, Al jiver
Time to fire liar conniver

Pygmy putz, goon, puppet, loon, pustule, cow, sow
Pygmy putz, goon, puppet, loon, pustule, bow-wow
Fly ho' sniv'ler away

He fired prosecutors who'd not do things the White House way
On the orders of another dwarf-like man, fattened ham
Who's horrible and squalid
And does the thinking for the "y'all" id-
iot who won in other judge scam

Bows to Dick's sins
Alberto, Al jiver
What ahole hired this jiver?

Pygmy putz, goon, puppet, loon, pustule, cow, sow
Pygmy putz, goon, puppet, loon, pustule, bow-wow
Fly ho' sniv'ler away

Etc.

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Michael Pacholek - March 15, 2007 - Report this comment

I didn't know Gonzalez was just four-foot-seven. Which means he looks up to Arwen. (And not like we do!) But then, as you make perfectly clear (backdoor Nixon reference there), it's not his height that makes him a small man. The irony is that the Oak Ridge Boys are major Republican fundraisers. And while "Elvira" was the Number 1 song on the country charts for the whole year of 1981, what was its peak position on the pop charts? Of course, Number 5, and that's what you get. Extra credit for beating me to the punch with a Gonzalez song. And a Gonzo one at that. Maybe it should be "Bedtime For Gonzo!" If you record it, I wanna do the Richard Sterban bass voice: "A goon-puppet, loon-pustule, COW-SOW!"

Michael Pacholek - March 15, 2007 - Report this comment

I did a little checking. I can't find any specific reference to his height, but in one picture I saw, Bush, taking into account he's often stooped over, looked about 6 inches taller, which would make Gonzalez around 5-foot-5. In another, of his swearing-in, Justice Sandra Day O'Connor towers over him. I have no idea how tall she is. If Gonzalez IS 4-foot-7, that makes him shorter than Robert Reich, Bill Clinton's 4-foot-10 Secretary of Labor, now the closing-page columnist at The American Prospect magazine. He was continually mocked by Rush Limbaugh and others for his lack of height, but if Gonzalez is shorter... and not just short on ethics... then they get an extra serving of crow tonight.

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