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Song Parodies -> "Asinine Ted Buffoons"

Original Song Title:

"99 Red Balloons"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Asinine Ted Buffoons"

Parody Written by:

Poli-tick-ly Incorrect

The Lyrics

Here's a parody about that habitual drunk of a Senator, Ted Kennedy.
Ted n' Mary Jo in an overturned car
By Chappaquiddick lagoon
He swam away, that drunkard sot
Let her drown at the break of dawn
Then Gargan and Markham left, MaryJo was gone
That scapegrace, free drugs and healthcare
Flash the message:
"He's mentally impaired!"
Floating in a channel, MaryJo died
Asinine Ted buffoons just lie!

That drunkard sot, Ted Buffoon
Floating at the Poucha dike
Tonic, Gin, he's red-faced
That dimwit clown is
Something else
Kopechne, left to die
That creepy left-wing guy
All the crimes that he denies
Caroline and Ted Buffoons just lie!

Asinine leftist thief
'69, July eighteenth
Blurry, slur-ry, super-scurry
Didn't call the cops out in a hurry
He's a dem to abhor
MaryJo was ignored
Ran for president in '79
Those Kennedy, Ted buffoons just lie!

[instrumental interlude]

Ninety-nine tumors in his head
He's a ultra-left-wing liberal
The Kennedy's get a zero
The Kennedy's are philanderers
Ted tried to justify, falsify, had to testify
He's such a crock, and he still denies
'Cause asinine Ted buffoons just lie!

Asinine Ted buffoons just lie!

Ninety-nine tumors Ted has had
Hot air, head balloon
Now his time's soon over
And he's lying pretty
In a coffin, oh, what a pity!
If we could find a souvenir
Just to laugh and make a jeer
And there is the dead buffoon
Caroline always says, "ya know?"
"Ya Know?" [ ]

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Mr 1's - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
I can sum this whole parody up in two words: BOH-RING!
Comedian - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Was this your first parody? Is just not funny at all.
Mr 1's - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
to Comedian: No, this author has written lots of parodies. Click on his name and you'll see his whole list. All his parodies are full of nothing but lies. You're right, none of his parodies are funny.
Hu's On First - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Pacing is horibble, and so is this parody, as usual for this author. 111
Red Ant - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Linda Terhune must have sold her parody writing playbook on eBay for 99c. No "demoncrap" or "leftard" lines here? What a shame. You were scraping the bottom of the barrel and came up just a bit short. Nice to see you have time to write another "parody", yet can't provide a simple link to cite your source on the 'Al Gore recants...' thing. Typical.

Good to see the right harping on 40 year old news for a dying man. You have Christ-like compassion. I'm sure your writing makes other Republicans proud.
Jason - March 09, 2009 - Report this comment
At least P.I. doesn't argue like Linda did!
Below Average Dave - March 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Yes it does Jason--just give it a chance it does
Michael Pacholek - March 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Let's see. Fat? Ted Kennedy (even before his current illness) was thinner than Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney. Drunk? George W. Bush and Cheney are both convicted drunk drivers -- Ted isn't -- and Limbaugh is an OxyContin addict. (Yes, I know what the definition of "is" is: There are no former addicts, only recovering ones, and can we really be sure in Rush's case?) Killed people? Blame the designers of the bridge and whoever was in charge of lighting it, and Ted's still about 4,200 Americans behind Bush and Cheney -- to say nothing of the 3,000 who died due to their negligence on 9/11. Come to think of it, isn't the original song about nuclear war? Which right-wingers have, on occasion, made more possible, and Ted's brother JFK managed to avoid and then make less likely. And on top of everything else, this parody wasn't even very good on merit. Way to go, you missed every conceivable mark.
Poli-tick-ly Incorrect - March 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Mr1's, my parodies tell the truth as it stands. Are you concerned that I might reveal the dark side of liberalism? You obviously have no sense of humor, so there's really no need to respond to you. Red Ant, apparently you seem to forget history (typical liberal ignorance) and Ted's "little accident" is, as they say, "like a bridge over troubled waters". Michael Pacholek, why do you drag Limbaugh's name into the mix? That is not relevant at all. However, it's no surprise because the only time he ever leaves a comment is when I make fun of the Kennedy's. Come to Ted's rescue, aye? Stop spewing the same old Bush hatred and blaming him for September 11th. George W. Bush may have been an alcoholic in the past, but at least he recovered from it. Secondly, Bush never drove off a bridge, even when he was DUI.
Yeah! - March 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Plus, Bush isn't currently on drugs, unlike Bicholek and all you other 0-worshipers here. I'll bet 0-boy himself is on the wacky weed, which is why he keeps making all those unnerving giggles.
No One In Particular - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Wrong, wrong again.

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