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Song Parodies -> "88 Lines About 44 Presidents"

Original Song Title:

"88 Lines About 44 Women"

Original Performer:

Nails

Parody Song Title:

"88 Lines About 44 Presidents"

Parody Written by:

Chris Wolvie

The Lyrics

I actually thought this one up a DECADE ago. I had the feeling Clinton would be impeached, Gore would take over for the last year and someone ELSE would be #44 in 2000. Didn't work out that way. Had to wait until NOW to get that last line JUST RIGHT. Share and Enjoy!
Washington was first to serve
Father of our country
Adams followed in his steps
After he was first V.P.
Jefferson doubled our homeland
Nothing more did he "declare"
Madison said, "Hello, Dolly"
1812, the rockets glared

Monroe protects Americas
Says, "There's a Doctrine in the house"
Quincy Adams screwed-up big time
John, his dad, said, "What a louse!"
Jackson "let the people rule"
But, since we don't, he was to blame
Van Buren made the Treasury system
Had no cash, so things stayed same

William Henry Harrison
Serve thirty days then dropped down dead
Tyler went and annexed Texas
Got the Mexicans seeing red
Polk then tried for California
Went to war 'til satisfied
Taylor was "Ol' Rough and Ready"
Didn't do much but he tried

Fillmore sought a "compromise"
In politics, that's quite a switch
Pierce let new states choose for slavery
Much like Mildred (what a bitch!)
Buchannan tried to keep the union
But he couldn't get his way
Lincoln fought to save this country
Should've never seen that play

Andrew Johnson was impeached
But, thanks to one vote, kept his stand
Grant's two reigns were chaotic
Told Greely, "Go to hell, old man!"
Hayes then ended Reconstruction
That was all he got around
Garfield served until September
Jealous voter shot him down

Arthur wanted lower tarriffs
That set all the world with glee
Cleveland didn't do too much
In his first Presidency
Ben Harrison from O-hi-o
Split Dakota right in two
Cleveland got his title back
And broke a Pullman's strike or two
(Oh, yeah...that was the twenty-FOURTH President, not the twenty-second)

McKinley fought a war with Spain
Shot right down in Buffalo
Teddy Roosevelt "rough-rode"
Through his terms, but "beared" it, though
Taft was Chief Supreme Court Justice
After starting income taxes
Wilson "kept us out of war"
Til U-boats made us kick their asses!

Harding tossed the League of Nations
What did HE term "normalcy"?
Coolidge put a farm bill down
Then ended his candidacy
Hoover got us through Depression
Long before Prozac was in
FDR got four terms running
Polio's what did him in

Truman got to nuke Japan
Korea then he did surrate
Eisenhower led up NATO
Called himself a moderate
Kennedy went down in Dallas
Paradise for Ol'ver Stone
LBJ took care of homelands
"Great Society" got boned
Nixon had his Watergate
Resigned before he could get caught
Ford gave "Tricky Dick" a pardon
One big "trip" is what HE got
Carter handled things abroad
Left the U.S. suffering
Reagan boosted our defense
Could not remember one damn thing
Bush took on Saddam Hussein
But "no new taxes" sent him home
Clinton balanaced out the budget
Slept with interns while alone
Dubya Bush was like his dad
Terrorizing terrorists
Obama, congratulations
You're the last one on this list!

88 lines about 44 Presidents
I'm Chris Wolvie and I approve this parody. Maybe not the SUBJECTS...but the parody definitely.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

SOTM - January 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Very clever song. And yes, Cleveland was the 22nd AND 24th President.
Patrick - January 29, 2009 - Report this comment
A nice history lesson in just a few lines.
Agrimorfee - January 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Good job there, Chris. Compare with http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/thenails1.shtml by the veterans Merry & Pippin...while your pacing hiccupped here and there, and polio didn't kill FDR (I just looked it up), your version is nicer in terms of concise language. Again, good job, well worth the decade-long wait!
Hu's On First - January 29, 2009 - Report this comment
Extremely well done!
A. Person - January 29, 2009 - Report this comment
re:your introductory note: I was hoping that we'd get #44 elected in 2004 (so that Dumbya wouldn't be in for two terms, lol)...but things didn't happen that way either. I liked this one too. Perfect score.
John Jenkins - January 29, 2009 - Report this comment
You are to be commended for your patience. And this parody was worth waiting for. A lot of clever lines, like one big "trip." I would say that Hoover got us to or into, not through, depression, though.
tony douglas matherly - November 23, 2009 - Report this comment
nice

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