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Song Parodies -> "Guns, Guns, Guns"

Original Song Title:

"Girls, Girls, Girls"

Original Performer:

Motley Crue

Parody Song Title:

"Guns, Guns, Guns"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Nothing like the very best!
German guns are such a delight
A fine Gewehr und ein Eickhorn knife
An Enfield just doesn't feel right
K98 better in any fight by far...


Guns, guns, guns
STGs and HK Caseless kicks
G-3 from CETME from Mauser tips
Direct hits, flash-to-flesh rips!

Dryse moved to breech- wow! was that neat
Germans first to rifle for spin ac-cu-racy
German guns can't be beat
From the old Jaegers to Syrian streets!

Guns, guns, guns
MP-18 SMG in Great War didn't fail
Guns, guns, guns
MP-40 for Fallschirmjaeger Low Country tales
Guns, guns, guns
Postwar MP-K and L
MP-5 greatest sub news
VIP, SFs, worldwide use
Now comes a new MP
MP-7 PDW that is state of the art
Deutsch smart!!!

And don't forget about pistols, boys
Borchardt first auto, 19th century toy
Then the Luger unfurled
Walther P (-38), for the Reich's Army
HK, the same story
You know the ones I mean (USP/Mark 23)

MG-08 used in France
Was a Maxim that the Germans advanced
MG-34/42 GPMGs did a lot
1300 rpm for the latter, the Allies fought

"Hitler's Buzzsaw, like shredding calico"

Guns, guns, guns
P-11, underwater as such
Guns, guns, guns
Nothing like firing 5 explosive darts!

Guns, guns, guns

German guns...
Count 20 German guns listed in this parody! You have to know both a little war history and German guns to get the refs fully...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 35

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   33

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - March 25, 2016 - Report this comment
Hey JAB, you can use this OS title for your own "Churls, Churls, Churls!" ;-)
Callmelennie - March 25, 2016 - Report this comment
You're killing me with this one, Arendt!! ... No seriously, I'm dying here ;-D
Calllmelennie - March 25, 2016 - Report this comment
No seriously, this is a great juxtaposition of cheesy OS with serious subject matter. When I, in my misspent youth, would frequent "tittie bars" as they were called in the Eighties, they would frequently play this OS as a kind of cattle call to get all the dancers to return to the main stage ... Then you would have thirty half naked girls with bored looks on their faces shuffling listlessly to to "GIRLS, girls, girls" ... Funny sight
Rob Arndt - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
CML, do me a favor and stop misspelling my last name as Arendt. It's Arndt. I've asked you politely for years now and everyone knows my name. As for the guns, everyone has their own style and favorite topics. Besides, there is a male-driven Girls & Guns culture. I can adapt this OS to that too ;-)
Aaron Arendt - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
Forgive CML. It's so easy to mistake you for Hannah Arendt because the both of you are so offended by the Third Reich.
Aren't Apparent - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
What do all those acronyms mean? I am dying to know.
Konrad Adenauer - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
Don't fault "Aren't Apparent" for his deficiencies in gun jargon. This is the worst piece of crap ever to soil these pages. It's egregious preening on your part. This has no value as a parody. None! Moreover, in the toxic gun culture we live in it enables and validates those madmen whose power of life and death over the innocent has been tragically demonstrated. You claim you're entitled to write about your favorite topics, no matter how they are so obviously obscure to the general, casual gun-owning public. No, you are not! Everything written here for universal consumption must, at least, be socially responsible. Ah, but you were merely extolling the superiority (as usual) of every German gun in the great wars dating to the 19th century. Hooray! "Direct hits, flash-to-flesh rips!"

Where the hell is the editorial oversight on this site? It's Arndt's playground. And the 28 votes, to date? What a joke! It has recently been demonstrated here how, by several methods, one person can vote as often as he likes.
Hannah Arendt - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
The careless junk you write illustrates the evil of banality.
Rob Arndt - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
I don't force anyone to click any of my links. If you don't like guns, that's your problem. No violence advocated in any of the lines, except that in war combat guns ARE made to kill effectively. That's a fact. And, German firearms have set the standard in firearms technology. The old Mauser K98 is 118 years old and still in production in 3 nations including Germany. All manufacturing considered from 50 nations means it is the Number 1 firearm of all-time with over 100 million made, beating the AK series derived from the German intermediate cartridge STG-44 of WW2. Almost every German firearm here has historical importance. For you that cannot grasp that... again, your problem, not mine. I can write about anything I want same as any other parodist here under the guidelines. Even vulgarity and masked sexuality still get past the censor! The trolls and thin-skinned liberal above don't bother me. If parodists, they more than likely write of the mundane. I try not to.
Gun Owner - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
Grasp this: I don't hate guns and I don't like guns. Gun is gun is gun. I have no problem. I will use mine only to kill someone who is trying to kill me. And, of course, target practice. That's all. It's useful like a microwave oven. No thrill. No obsession. No hobby. No nationalism. No war. No fetish. No history. Just utility. And nothing approaching proselytizing for private ownership of rapid-fire weapons. I occasionally click on a link of yours as I would view a train wreck. You don't directly advocate violence, but you glorify it. I appeal to Chuck G. to tighten the guidelines. Censoring a few four-letter words simply will not do.
Rob Arndt - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
Censorship is un- American. And I suspect that if I had written on US guns that you might not have taken this idiotic stance. Btw, the West wasn't won with kindness :))
callmelennie - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
OK Arndt, here's the favor I'll do for you. I wont comment on your threads any more. Clearly you dont care for my comments anymore. And in return, do me a favor and dont comment on any more of my threads. And no more comments where you presume to tell me what I am or am not supposed to be doing around here.
Gun Owner - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
The West was won by cheating, theft, and the imposition of force by an industrial nation against a primitive people. Nowadays, we call it nation-building.
There is no such thing as absolute free speech. Censorship is as American as apple pie. In Brandenburg v. Ohio, advocacy directed to inciting or producing imminent lawless action and is likely to incite or produce such action is proscribed.
If anyone around here is a chauvinist (of a foreign country, yet), it's you.
Observer - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
If censorship is un-American, why do we allow AIR to modify a word which is widely used intact in respectable literature? I refer, of course, to f*ck.
Aren't A Parent - March 27, 2016 - Report this comment
Can't you learn from the past? What will we pass on to our children? Aren't you, in your revelry over German weapons, pandering to a world dominated by violence and terrorism? Where is Chucky G?
Rob Arndt - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Little child, your lack of knowledge is appalling historically concerning the advances provided by German weaponry that served many valiant nations including the United States. Those famous Kentucky Rifles were made by Pennsylvania German gunsmiths. They were Jaeger rifles. German PPKs benefitted police in many Euro nations while K98s were adopted or unlicensed copied in 50 nations for half a century. Post-WW2, German STGs became the AK series and basis for Western assault rifles used to fight Communists and Serbs. 85% of the US military inventory is based on Second and Third Reich weapon systems. The US even stole the German Fritz helmet, SS camouflage/Flecktarn, and their way of combined arms fighting ushered in by Blitzkrieg. Germany altered the very way we fight war and is doing it again through programs centered on Quantum computers, Elektronischekrieg, plasma weaponry, laser flak, AIP subs, EMHD vessels, bio-armed MAVs, advanced autonomous combat robots, EM armor, etc... Giving a history lesson on German firearms in no way promotes violence. Your liberalism is disgusting. Vote for kook Sanders!
Gun Owner - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Your thesis seems to be that Germans and those of German ancestry are central to the development of worldwide weaponry which made warfare and "collateral damage" wider by orders of magnitude. To you, it's mere factual, proud history. To others, it is the source of 20th century misery, leading to the "productivity" of murder on an industrial scale. You are fixated on bloodless numbers. It is part of YOUR history, YOUR identity, which you admit come from YOUR ancient war-sport. You will never be fully human. Modern Germany is a repentant, welcoming, humane society. You are the skeletal remains of its awful past.
Aren't Apparent - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Never mind what the acronyms mean. Gun Owner's aim is right on.
Aren't A Pair - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
BTW, GunOwner and I are separate entities. We are not a pair, but agree as above.
Rob Arndt - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
What would you know of modern Germany, pacifist? Read the Red House Report of 1944. An economic Fourth Reich has come into being since 2014 with Merkel's austerity measures, the proposal to drop the Euro and return to the Mark, and bumping up military spending while moving into the number 4 spot on arms sales. Where have you been as Pegida has grown from 300 Facebook users to over 50,000 angry, rioting and protesting Nazis in German major cities over the Syrian refugee situation as well as parties NDP and AfD? These are not skin head Neo-Nazis but Pinstripe Nazis in business suits. AfD leader Frauke Petry is the voice of the German Far Right. Although not directly aligned with the others mentioned, they all want the Syrians and all Muslims out of Germany. Nazi slogans are back, open Sieg-heiling, Nazi gatherings, and Hitler's "Mein Kampf" is back in print in Germany, selling out at $60 a copy! An 8 part miniseries will soon air in all German homes about Hitler fed by intense interest and by the fact that Germans no longer want Allied-instituted history books anymore. They want their German POV. Germany's top movie is "ER is Wieder Da" (Look Who's Back) in which Adolf Hitler awakes in Berlin in the 21st Century straight from 1945. It is a spoof but the actor was well received in public in Germany, especially with the young. German youth are taught from Kindergarten two things: do NOT talk about Hitler or Nazism and NEVER say anything bad about the political Left! Things have changed in Germany and in Europe because of Merkel's bad decision to not properly screen Muslims entering the EU. We've seen Paris, Brussels, and threats to Britain, Italy, Germany, the Netherlands, etc... due to her folly that may ultimately unseat her. Nazis in Europe are coming out in force to protest like in Belgium recently where police in riot gear had to turn to water cannons to disperse the angry Right-wing. Btw, the Bundeswehr has always had a Nazi threat under the surface as reported by Der Spiegel and other news for decades. KSK had its badge modified due to their "By Will Alone" scroll replaced by the German flag. The Thule sword remains, however, in the Nazi-like military oak leaves wreath. KSK in Afghanistan used the Nazi Afrika Korps logo on their vehicles minus Hakenkreuz which caused Schroeder embarrassment. German military manufacturers are back to secret weapons led by Rheinmetall AG. Laser flak, a plasma rifle, EM armor for tanks, centrifugal guns, Thunder gas cannons, explosive net thrower to kill crowds, the new Leopard III approved, and a long list of unconventional weapons. Most disturbing is the idea of using 4' mini-drones or entomopters to carry bio agents for dispersal. And yes, the bio/chemical loophole is "defensive research." You call that civilized? Remember, Germany was helping Saddam with ultra long range artillery to fire chemical rounds at Israel, powdered anthrax (sold to the US instead) to use against the Coalition Forces, and centrifuges for Iraq's atom bomb project. That's why Merkel apologized in Israel and gave them several Dolphin SSK subs for free while subsidizing the rest (they have 5 Dolphins with 1 more on order that can fire nuke-tipped cruise missiles out the torpedo tubes modified by Germany). So please never lecture me about peaceful Germany. It's more than obvious that you've been living under a rock. Go crawl back.
Gun Owner - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
There is fear of Syrian migration in all Christian countries. Trump would suspend all Muslim attempts at U.S. asylum. Cruz proposes surveillance of "Muslim neighborhoods." Many states with Republican governors have forbidden Syrian refugee entry. Right-wing hysteria exists in all Western countries, but nobody except Merkel has the courage to resist. Never thought I'd defend Germany to the likes of you.
Rob Arndt - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Merkel, by bypassing proper screening of the Syrian refugees, allowed ISIS into Europe which now threatenes all of Europe and the US. She also has single-handedly energized all Far Right parties and Nazis in Europe. She is no hero.
Rob Arndt - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
STG= Sturmgewehr or assault rifle (coined by Hitler himself)
MP= Machinenpistole or Submachine gun
CETME= Spanish State Arms Industry
HK= Heckler & Koch
Ain't Enlightened - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
So now what should the poor reader do with this (useless) information? Dying of boredom.
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - March 29, 2016 - Report this comment
I must confess that I broke one of my personal rules and used the pseudonym "Ain't Enlightened". Don't know who the "Aren't"s are. The point, as GO says, is that some people might have been misled into finding German weaponry hurtful; you find it delightful.. .But you have elaborated on what a gas it all is. BTW, I like the deal you arranged with CML.

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