Sanford, Edwards, Ensign, Vitter, Spitzer
Countless others you see on Wolf Blitzer
No side has a lock on disgusting tabloid schlock
All sides should forgo this shameless fight
For scandals occur both Left and Right

Reps and Dems and Greens and Independents
All can end up being the defendants
All sides should 'fess up - they have people who mess up
No one can avoid the glaring light
For scandals occur both Left and Right

One side screams that "It's moral hipocrisy!"
And another "It's broken public trust!"
But it's nothing but partisan bloodlust
And witch hunts have a way of going bust

All sides live in dangerous glass houses
Yet they damn opponent's cheating spouses
If that's all they do then America is through
Let's move to England and we'll say good night
For scandals occur both Left and Right

Everybody has skeletons within the past
None can speak from the higher moral ground
If we let this head hunting go unbound
There'll soon be no leaders to be found

Try to stick to points about the issues
Put away those phony tears and tissues
There's no monopoly in this infidelity
No matter how all sides will bark and bite
For scandals occur both Left and Right

(Musical interlude)

Everybody stop this awful blight
For scandals occur both Left and Right