Father Kirk is unemployed
Mom Luann is quite annoyed
‘Cause his friend Bart’s a rotten kid
Gets beat up by Jimbo Jones (Ow Ow Ow)
But all of those sticks and stones
Don’t bug him at all

Milhouse, he’s a scrawny blue-haired geek
Milhouse, he’s a scrawny blue-hair

Milhouse has a big nose
His glasses look like Coke bottles
Always wears the same clothes
Has really bad B.O.
Nothing ever goes his way
But he’s always back for mo’

Milhouse, he’s a scrawny blue-haired geek
Milhouse, he’s a scrawny blue-hair

Milhouse, he’s a Squishee drinking freak
Milhouse, he’s a Squishee drinker
(Nelson tells him you should stop hitting yourself you twit)

He’s a hall monitor nerd
Those blue eyebrows, quite absurd
Poor kid’s always getting screwed
Had a brief fling with show biz
Vaseline on toast is his
Most favorite food

Milhouse, he’s a scrawny blue-haired geek
Milhouse, he’s a scrawny blue-hair

I recall the episode when Milhouse won the starring role
He’d be Radioactive Man’s sidekick Fallout Boy
He would jump for joy
And his school councilor did say that I assess him to be gay
Homer makes fun of the kid’s demeanor, “That wiener!”

Lisa Simpson is his crush
Seeing her just makes him blush
He gets all clumsy and runs off
His name might as well be mud
Looks exactly like the Dud *
In Mystery Date

Milhouse, he’s a scrawny blue-haired geek
Milhouse, he’s a scrawny blue-haired geek

Milhouse, he’s a Squishee drinking freak
Milhouse, he’s a Squishee drinker

Milhouse, allergic to milk and wheat
Milhouse, he’s a scrawny blue-haired geek

Milhouse, wets the bed during his sleep
Milhouse, he’s a Squishee drinking freak

Milhouse, rides his Vespa down the street
Milhouse ... (fade out)