Back a few months ago I was Mike Average,
I'd eat normal plain grub,
Till one day when I dined in a Taco Bell place,
Now here I am trash diving
In back of that Taco Bell place
In a dumpster where I don't squelch,
Stuff cayenne peppers inside me,
While chalupas are making me belch..

Aah..that's what I say, "Aah"
As I feed my addiction more, and chili my cup

I think of my past life..

And wonder and ponder how I went wrong
Now I know how it feels to be alone,
As my taste buds fulfill
Hot desires that clangor my gong..

Oh, Lord, it's hard not to rumble
When you're bloated with Mexican mass
My abdomen growls with a grumble,
From flatulence trying to pass..
Nobody seems to like me,
Since this hot salsa habit began
Oh, Lord, it's hard not to rumble,
Or to keep all this gas in my can..

I used to have a girlfriend,
Swept a sweet Spanish maid off her feet
Till she packed her clothes and left me,
So much spicy salsa I eat
Lost a sister, a neice, and my mother
From the hot fumes while living with me
Don't dare to visit my brother,
He's recov'ring from nose-ectomy

Oh, Lord, it's hard not to rumble
When you're bloated with Mexican mass
The abdomen growls with a grumble,
It's flatulence trying to pass..
Nobody seems to like me,
Since this hot salsa habit began
Oh, Lord, it's hard not to rumble,
And to keep all the gas in my can..

I guess you might call me a Junkie,
A Mexic Depressive, well chowed
I once had all the friends that I wanted
But now, I'm dissed and I'm shunned by the crowd

Ex-perts say that I'm "Eat-gotistical"
With a need for hot seed in my genes
Spend 24-7 just packing away
Enchiladas and thick refried beans

Oh, Lord, it's hard not to rumble
When you're bloated with Mexican mass
My abdomen growls with a grumble,
From flatulence trying to pass..
Nobody seems to like me,
Since this hot salsa habit began
Oh, Lord, it's hard not to rumble,
And to keep all this gas in my can..

Just can't keep all this gas in my can