You watched Bo Derek in that film again
Where Dudley Moore rated each woman, marks out of ten
You ask me would I give you a high score
Hell, no! At best a 3, not quite a 4

In your dreams, you are a 5
And I would be such a liar
If I said you were a six or seven, no way any higher
Though you knew that's what I'd say
You knew what I'd put you through
So now, red-faced and angry, you're a 2

You think you know what Dudley would've said
But sadly, I've got news for you, that Dudley's dead
You say that he still would beat my score
Hell, no! Done down by dead Dudley Moore?

'Cause I wonder how you think
I'd get such a score from you
You say, like a ballerina's clothing, I am a 2, too
Oh, the spite that's in your heart
Guess we make the perfect crew
Neither outscores the other, me and you

I know! Together we make four
However we combine
(No, I didn't just mean "screw")
Added, multiplied or indexed, you get four from two and two
So darling, now let's make a start
This is why we should begin:
When an ace is high, a pair of twos can win