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Song Parodies -> "Don't Eat Those UPFs"

Original Song Title:

"God Bless the USA"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Lee Greenwood

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Eat Those UPFs"

Parody Written by:

Random idiot

The Lyrics

UPF means ultra-processed food. Unfortunately, they make up over half the calories in the American diet. (https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/the-overconsumption-of-ultra-processed-foods-in-the-united-states) They are typically high in sugar, salt, and fat and low in micronutrients. (see source) Unfortunately, too many people have struggles with gluttony and controlling addictions.
O I really don’t want to be gone
I’ll strive to lengthen life.
And I have to persevere
‘cause this will kill me like a knife.

I curse my gluttony
‘Cause it brought me here today.
And my ways still are unhealthy,
And it’s now my time to change.

I’m not proud to hear that I’m overweight,
But at least, I know I’m fat.
And I really do not want to die
Of heart disease like that.
And I’ll get and use this “Lose It” app
To get right out of the mess.
I must exercise
and help myself.
Don’t eat those UPFs!

I will eat no added sugar.
I will count my calories.
Will eat my fruits and veggies
To get my vitamin C.

No more white bread or cookies.
Must treadmill every day.
And that means I’m gonna strengthen my heart
And will burn my fat away.

I’m not proud to hear that I’m overweight,
But at least, I know I’m fat.
And I really do not want to die
Of heart disease like that.
And I’ll get and use this “Lose It” app
To get right out of the mess.
I must exercise
and help myself.
Don’t eat those UPFs!

I’m not proud to hear that I’m overweight,
But at least, I know I’m fat.
And I really do not want to die
Of heart disease like that.
And I’ll get and use this “Lose It” app
To get right out of the mess.
I must exercise
and help myself.
Don’t eat those UPFs!
"'cause this will kill me like a knife." In that line, "this" refers to gluttony and eating UPFs. They are known to increase all-cause mortality. There is a difference between natural sugar and added sugar. Here it is. (https://www.rupahealth.com/post/natures-sweet-vs-factorys-treat-whats-the-difference-between-natural-sugars-and-added-sugars)

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