[sampled loop: "Hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho...."]

O Santa Claus. My judge
Have I been bad? Good or bad?
O Santa Claus. Oh fudge
Have I been bad? Good or bad? (ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho)

Hi, I'm not at the North Pole right now, but if you want some things for Christmas, you know what to do after the beep.
Hello? This is Mrs. Claus. I know you're there, you homewrecker.
Have you fed the reindeer?
Hello? This is Little Steven. I don't know if you're for real, but you know I'm for real.
And I've got a request for you.
How about some trains? (ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho)

So you better watch out. Better not cry
Better not pout. I'm telling you why.
Some toys to go, toys to go.

And I said, "Who is this really? Allen Funt?"
And he said,
"This is the man. Man on the sleigh
This is the man. Man on the sleigh" (ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho)

I want some trains
Some choo-choo trains
Made in America
Lionel or Tyco? And the voice said,

He's making a list
And checking it twice
Gonna find out who's naughty or nice
And he comes down the chimney
Like some sort of cat burglar

When the snow is gone
There's always the slush
And when the slush is gone
There's always ice
And when the ice is gone
It'll be spring
Oh Wow!

So get me, Mom
Some ant farms
So get me, Mom
One or two ant farms
An electrice shaver
A sub-atomic watch
(And an ant farm)

So get me, Mom
Some new ant farms
Those entymological farms
The mail-order farms
In your bulbous arms
(Merry Christmas)