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Song Parodies -> "Torpedo!"

Original Song Title:

"Ti Amo"

Original Performer:

Laura Branigan

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Fired from a submerged U-boat
Watch the fish go
Amidships explosion
Minutes, the target's gone

G7a and G7e types too
TNT/HDN with powdered Alum
FAT and LUT and T V Zaunkonig
Zig-zag, wire-guided, acoustic homing!

Wolf packs patrolling 7 seas
Did it so easily
Over 15 million tons in sinking
Convoys carrying supplies and war things

Happy times, early days
Destroyers in numbers then came
Hedgehogs and depth charges away
Tense were the thorough attacks- fighting back

And brave U-boat crews
They knew what to do
N Atlantic in war time you know
Type VIIs did boldly go

Oh, 70% of them died
But German tech was a surprise
Elektroboots were soon realized
Came at the end, stealth-coated, silent drive dread

Hydrogen peroxide driven
Supercavitating, even!
Kriegsmarine blundering
Most sat as Reich crumbling

Service a high price to pay
After all advances were made
Enigma codes broken, betrayed
Positions known of the wolf packs, counter-attacked!

Trans-Atlantic ships to blow
88 deck guns also
Auxiliaries* too came on strong
False flag situations

More weapons in the pipeline
Bombings meant shipyard declines
Type XXVI next in line
4 laid down but then, it was over when

Doenitz Fuhrer called an end!

Thought sinkings would go on and on
Happy times felt so strong
Strength of our enemies
Numbers supremacy

Fought on until the last day
Type XXIII made
Yes, even on May 8th
Type XXIs ordered not to attack

We're shadowing while masked...

Did all that they could do
During WW2
WW1 total did exceed
11 millions tons did precede!!!

HKs, mines**, the Condor*** did succeed
Did it so easily
All of the best from Germany
All the sinkings at sea
(S-boots too in Baltic feeds)

How those fish did go
Merchant shipping aglow
Yes, this force was strong
Churchill's nightmare went on

... the only weapon he thought might beat Britain
* Hitler's Pirate Fleet sunk 2.5 million tons!!!
** German mines sunk 1 million tons
*** Focke-Wulf Fw-200 sank 500,000 tons!

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

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Patrick - January 19, 2016 - Report this comment
What was the percentage of U-Boat crews lost in action? Aluminum powder is the prime ingredient in common firecrackers. Hard to imagine hundreds of pounds of it one place in a torpedo. Did not know the Condor was so successful. As to countermeasures, did the catapult launched Hurricanes ever achieve much?
Rob Arndt - January 19, 2016 - Report this comment
70% lost, most of any service. The Fw-200 was not the "Scourge of the Atlantic" for nothing! And finally, the Hurricats downed 9 German aircraft in 16 launches. Mostly Fw-200s, but also a Ju-88, and a four He-115s. Loss of 8 Hurris AFAIK. Btw, the torp head was TNT/HDN/Al...
Rob Arndt - January 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Patrick, check out this site for some info on German catapult aircraft:
Rob Arndt - January 19, 2016 - Report this comment
Note: German S-boats claimed 265,000 tons!

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