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Song Parodies -> "Lady Di, Madonna, Britney, Cher and Elvis"

Original Song Title:

"There's A Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He's"

Original Performer:

Kirsty MacColl

Parody Song Title:

"Lady Di, Madonna, Britney, Cher and Elvis"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Another tirade against the tabloids...
I wonder why they print such stuff
Haven't people had enough of lies?
Another tabloid through the door
And hits the floor - it's full of shite
Focussing on famous lives
Famous sportsmen (and their wives), won't try it
'Cause I don't really want to know
The private life of so-and-so
But if you want the gossip, hell - just buy it:

Lady Di, Madonna, Britney, Cher and Elvis
It's there in black and white, it must be true!
Lady Di, Madonna, Britney, Cher and Elvis
No smoke 'thout fire? Now, what's that say about you?

Diana, so loved by the press
That they hounded her to death in Paris
With staggering hypocrisy
Ran their obituaries unembarrassed
Please tell me that I'm not alone
That there's someone else who'll moan at their tales so tall
So Elvis is alive somewhere?
Who gives a shit? No, I don't care
It don't mean anything to me at all

Lady Di, Madonna, Britney, Cher and Elvis
They're printing all that tripe, that shameless crew
Lady Di, Madonna, Britney, Cher and Elvis
I ain't no lawyer, but I can tell it ain't true

Oh Britney we all love to hate
But do we need her every date dissected?
And when the boyfriends kiss and tell
Say "Go to hell" - it ain't respected
And now he's wanting to be paid
But the cheque's already made to some tart in New York
So why can't they just run and hide
Commit celebrity suicide
And not demean themselves before us all

Lady Di, Madonna, Britney, Cher and Elvis
Just stories dreamt up, maybe on the loo
Lady Di, Madonna, Britney, Cher and Elvis
No smoke 'thout fire? Now what's that say about you?
I ain't no lawyer, but I can tell it ain't true
Wish they'd expire, the press and editors, too
No smoke 'thout fire?
...What does that say about you?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Know 1 can hear you dream - September 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil! Do you have the link to an online version of the original? I have a parody chorus written to this one but need the rest to work against. Knowing you, I'll trust you on the pacing in the meantime and here's a 555.
pickle - September 19, 2004 - Report this comment
This says it all about Sunday morning tabloids! Sadly, Kirsty MacColl's box set has been pushed back to February of 2005, even though BBC-4 will broadcast two documentaries on her on 25 September. I loved Kirsty's original of this, but I could never complete a LOTR parody about Legolas based on it.
Phil Alexander - September 20, 2004 - Report this comment
k1chyd - check your messageboard messages
pickle- she had a wonderful voice, didn't she? And why not write the parody about Orlando Bloom, rather than Legolas? You could probably spin out the Bloom-worship phenomenon to a couple of verses (which is all there are on the MP3 that I have - I've also got the original single, which repeats the second verse)... sort of "There's a girl worships Orlando swears he's elvish", or some such :-)
P_B Computer - December 01, 2017 - Report this comment
I love this parody as much as the original. Kirsty Maccoll is my favourite singer. This version is hilarious!!!!

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