His hair is solid oil
His suit tightly fits
His temper's quick to boil
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll bend your elbow on you
Crush your ribcage to bits
One look and you will know
He's got Steven Seagal tits

And he'll twist you
He'll chop-fist you
After verbally he's dissed you
He's a psycho, and he'd like to introduce you to his big toe
He's got Ernest Borgnine sweaty pits
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll break your collarbone
And make you do the splits
Until you moan and groan
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll have a rumble on you
Squash you flat when he sits
Hops like a kangaroo
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll dispose you
When he throws you
Philosophically he'll oppose you
He's obnoxious, and he's got just what it takes to make your blood gush
Weakest point, using his wits
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He's catty
Kinda batty
He's a fatty
He's got Steven Seagal tits

He'll defeat you
And mistreat you
Out-eat you
He's got Steven Seagal tits