I'm gonna 5 this before I read it, on the title alone!!! RFLMAO, Dee!...OK, now I'll try to read it (dries eyes)

OK, I read it, and I stand by my previous opinion.... OS was so kitschy it was cool..... As I asked Adagio once, if I am what I eat, does that make me a p**** (woman's private parts)?

Hilarious and high calibre as your writes, always are..Phatastically phunny..

High fives for your high calorie hi-larity.

Still no turnstile she can squeeze through--LOL!!!

That line alone deserves 5s!

Didn't somebody already do "???? Thighs" to Bette Davis Eyes?

Laura Bushes' Thighs. The parodies are completely different, but this one is much funnier than Laura Bush. 555

i like what you've cooked up here

The last couple verses shouldn't be read while eating lunch! Otherwise, this was funny.

Wow, just the mention of sagging tits make me cringe... But this whole parody had me cringing.... GAHH!!! Yet even though it's henious it's still better than Ay Yi Yi Yi so it gets 5's...

ha! what TT said, and what Arwen said, and I also loved the Rome in 12 bites line, amongst a dozen others - this is classic Dee! er, Dee! - LOL - 555

Thanks TT, AFW, Rick C., Arwen, 'Police Commissioner' (LOL), alvin rhodes, Ravyn Rant (always loved your monicker), Matthias, And Stuart. This was inspired by a 450 lb (Approximate) black lady who was immediately in front of me in the winding entrance corral for the log ride at Six Flags, the Disneyland-like amusement park between Dallas and Ft Worth, right next to the Texas Rangers baseball diamond now known as Ameriquest Field.. She was wearing a hot pink ultra-tight (What outfit wouldn't be, at that size?) jogging suit and she was so wide she kept getting snagged on the rough logs that formed the winding entrance guardrails. The first time she got snagged, she thought that I was grabbing her outfit, and turned her head and shouted at me...honest to God..".LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU MASHER!!!" I laughed my ass off and pointed out to her that she was snagged on the rough wood splinter on the guardrail. She finally had to resort to inching forward sideways, but when she got to the front of the line, she couldn't get through the turnstile that kept count of how many people rode the log ride each day. To this day, her line about me being a 'masher' is maybe the funniest thing I have ever heard in person. I was 15 at the time, about 150 lbs, and she could have squashed me like a bug had she sat on me. I weigh about 225 now, but even at my present size, she easily was twice as big then as I am now...if I am not mistaken, I think I heard her friend call her Oprah, but I wouldn't swear to it.

Hey, I'm a masher! Potatoes fear me. As for the parody police, shortly after Kim Carnes released her cover of this song, Dr. Demento was deluged with parodies of it. This is as good as any I've heard, except perhaps for "Marty Feldman Eyes".

Yep, I've just been through Dee Range territory here, a land of laughs o plenty. TMGLTM. BTW, what kind of put-down is "masher"? I weighed (wade? lol) in with 5s.

Ant, a 'masher' is a term for a gigolo/ladies man that is not used nowadays. I haven't heard the term used in over 20 years. In other words, she thought I was pinching her ass, and hitting on her...LOL...me, a skinny 16 year old white boy, hitting on a humongous black lady at least 15-20 years older than me. It still cracks me up every time I think about it.

*chuckle*snicker*...Reminds me of a VERY GROSS parody written long ago by Pirate Captain Paul Robinson....ARRRRRGH !!!

Humongously funny parody!

DK Betty Crocker. Sorry!

Peter, Betty Crocker is a name brand that makes cakes, pies, brownies, and many other fattening desserts. Betty Crocker thighs refers to someone who eats too many sweets, resulting in huge, fat, thighs. Thanks for reading it anyway, and thanks to Johnny D. and Larry Hensley also.

(laughs histerically and falls on the floor)

Carol, I hope you fell on the floor from laughing, and not from the legs breaking off your chair! Thanks so much.

Rex, I overlooked you while thanking everybody yesterday, but that was a nice compliment. Thanks for sticking up for me to the 'parody police'. If he/she had ever read any of my work, he/she would know I never copy from others....

A great new take on a classic. Many parodies have been done to it, as a matter of fact ("Marty Feldman Eyes" being a favorite), but this was on a par with those oldies. Good job, Dee!

Agrimorfee, thanks. I have got to somehow find the recording of Marty Feldman's eyes....from the remarks, and the title alone, it sounds hysterical.

Responding to the April 10th comment made by Mr. "Parody Police": Yes, somebody did a parody of this song with "Thighs" in the title, but it's a completely different spoof altogether. And as "Commissioner" said, it involved Laura Bush (the U.S. First Lady) instead of Betty Crocker.

That's right, although the parodies both deal with "thighs" the approach and message are much different. While this paroday is funny, the police commissioner misspoke. Laura Bush's thighs is as funny.

So did Cop Killer clarify it better, Mr/Ms Attorney General?

I think the references to Laura Bush should be Barbara Bush's Eyes. I remember that parody from around the time when First Lady, Barbara Bush was diagnosed with Grave's Disease, a thyroid condition; one its symptoms being bulging eyes. I remember the line, "She always looks surprised. She's got Barbara Bush's eyes."