Grand theft auto aside, 555! Btw, it WAS the Vegan who stole your car BECAUSE you bought wieners! It infuriated him! Also, I know you probably don't like rap but DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince had one of my favorites with "Who Stole My Car?" Listen to it here, it's hella funny:

https://youtu.be/VPKNTCTocc0

nigga stole my car

Rob - Thanks for the 5s, man! also, I never thought of that, but you're probably right! it probably WAS a Vegan who stole the car as aside from the Wieners, there were also steaks & a cake (BUTTERCREAM icing!) in there! and in some weird way, this was them serving up "Justice!" anyway, thanks for the link, you're right I don't like rap, especially not as it is infiltrating country music right now! (forget Sam Hunt! give me Sammy Kershaw!) but that was pretty funny! I did like the show "Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air" so, Will Smith's comedy-rap is literally some of the only rap music I can tolerate! also, while we're on the topic of funny songs relating to the "stolen car" scenario I presented here, here's a parody Bowling For Soup did, just in time for the holidays:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVk30Wr9lFM
also Rob, if you get the chance, please check out the whole movie, as I have linked all 15 parts as it was uploaded to youtube. you often mention Filmation when talking about good older cartoons, so I think it's something you should like too! :)
Mike Tyson - Yo Mikey! I heard you were supporting Donald Trump in the presedential election, well alright! Trump 2016!

I think the Mike Tyson comment was a response to my link because DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince also did "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson" which is also hella funny:

https://youtu.be/jam_t-gj7HM

^ even funnier than the car one!

Fun fact about Filmation: When Columbia went to make the 1984 "Ghostbusters" film, they had to pay a licensing fee to Filmation due to their original 1975 Ghost Busters TV live-action series! Filmation also did Shazam! The Secrets of Isis, Ark II, Space Academy, and spin-off Jason of Star Command.

Maybe the eggnog thief stole your car!

Rob - The Secrets of Isis? you mean to tell me that the key to beating those schmucks has been right under our noses the whole time? Ha! I kid, I kid.
Blue Teddy - maybe so, maybe so...

Jonathan, I tried that eggnog that you and Rob like and it is incredibly tasty! Southern Comfort eggnog is the bomb.

^ indeed it is Irvin, indeed it is. enjoy it buddy! :)

^ I tried the egg nog and got diarrhea, jock itch and a heart attack. But I also got an erection going on three hours now.

Aren't you exaggerating just a little, PP? No man can have jock itch and an erection at the same time!!

^ It isn't exactly jock itch, CML. It's what the egg nog crowd calls " Southern Discomfort."

Don't you people know that you can make your own eggnog at home? I make around ten gallons throughout the holiday season for friends, family, and church socials. I don't see what's so special about store bought eggnog. Southern Comfort would be the last one I would buy anyway due to the connection with alcohol, if the same company. I wouldn't want my kids to get the idea of buying that eggnog and trying to add alcohol to it. We don't support drinking in our family. I don't think there are any health benefits to drinking it as well. It's just holiday fun, all but forgotten past New Years Day.

Belinda, did you know that the original English drink posset from which eggnog was derived was an aristocratic drink? Warm milk with alcohol and spice? Common folk then made the egg version which became a hit in the 13 Colonies. Instead of sherry, the colonists first substituted rum & whiskey and then run & brandy! And our founding father George Washington loved eggnog as the Mount Vernon kitchen records prove. He was fond of serving it at his parties involving dignitaries. FYI

wow great

Just waiting for Jonathan's book "The Eggnog Diaries!" A chilling tale. Get it? chilling!!!

hmm... I don't know how the comments on this parody turned into a discussion about eggnog... especially when the drink's not even mentioned within the parody. but, whatever I'm always up for a nice eggnog chat:
PP - an erection lasting three hours from drinking eggnog? mine usually only last three minutes!
CML - apparently PP can... "confused shrug"
Belinda - I may try making my own eggnog one day but, to be completely honest, I don't know if it'll match up to Souther Comfort! by the way, I don't drink alcohol either, and I'm fully aware that Southern Comfort makes alcoholic beverages. but, somehow, I haven't felt compelled to mix it with alcohol just because of that.
Rob - interesting info, Rob! so ol' GW liked eggnog huh? I cannot tell a lie, that is good to know! BTW, have you checked out the movie yet? and if so, what did you think?
Chris Christie - what are you saying is great? is it Rob's eggnog trivia? is it Southern Comfort eggnog itself? is it my parody? (unlikely, I know.) or is it the movie I linked? in any of the three more likely cases, I agree. and if you DID mean my parody, then Thank You! :)
Reader - LOL! I see what you did there! "Chilling!" anybody who makes puns like that, can't be all that bad! although, I don't think I'll be writing a book any time soon, I DO have a couple of eggnog parodies in the pipeline!
Happy Halloween Everybody! those of you who will, join me in an eggnog toast to the first holiday, of the best part of the year!

Jon, I will get to the movie when I have some time. My dogs and social activities take a lot out of me. Oh, and I'm out of eggnog. Back to Walmart! Have a Happy Halloween yourself :))

Recall that PP also claimed that he experienced three hour tumescence whilst simultaneously having a heart attack. So CML, in his inimitably subtle and obtuse way, was expressing incredulity about the jock itch, but not the heart attack. Clearly, since he has experienced both, CML understands that a heart attack presents far more serious obstacles to tumescence sustainability than mere jock itch. Isn't that so, CML?

Damn straight, 'Splainer. Why, the very fact that the myocardially infarcted heart stops pumping blood makes the maintenance of any sort of erection impossible as the tumescent member needs a continual supply of blood. As for jock itch, it may not prevent erectile formation, but what would be the point? No female of any species would allow you to get within a mile of her private parts with that condition

Btw Jon, if you liked DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince raps, try this one, "The Girlie had a Mustache!":

https://youtu.be/R_lJnUsZab0

All this bickering about my now permanent hard-on simply underscores the mysterious and unexplainable magic of Southern Comfort Egg Nog.

Priapism is no laughing matter.

I scream, you scream, we all scream... for Southern Comfort eggnog??? How incredible is this stuff?

pretty dang incredible!

Jonathan, do you use nutmeg or cinnamon with your eggnog?

Nurse Nancy: Thanks for your interest in my engorged member. Fortunately, priapism is not a problem for me since I started wearing relaxed-fit slacks.

And even if does become a problem, PP, all you have to do to get rid of it is watch that YouTube video of Roseann Barr singing the national anthem while grabbing at her porcine crotch; I swear that's the only time the National Anthem ever sent me to my knees. And, of course, everyone's like, "Who do you think you are, Colin Kaepernick?" And I'm like, "Hey man, I'm not dissing the anthem; I'm on my knees praying that she'll stop."

Rob - thanks for the link! another funny one! although as I've said, these comedy raps are about the only rap songs I can handle! :P
Carl - as Irvin said pretty dang incredible! if you like eggnog, try it out for yourself. it should be available at your local Walmart.
Sherri - sometimes, although really not too frequently. I don't typically add anything to Southern Comfort eggnog, and just drink it as is.
CML - well, thanks! you have once again split my sides with your witty comments! :)

Jon, I think this is the most comments I've ever seen on one of your parodies and most have nothing to do with the topic, but SC eggnog instead!!! This thread caused me to write my eggnog parody of today! I think you should do a parody using that cake with the buttercream frosting in the future!

CML, I followed your advice and a tiny American flag popped out of my meatus. All I could do was salute.

I am selling advertising space on the shaft. Guaranteed prime time exposure in Times Square. Send now for price list and options, including font, colors, graphics, glitter, etc.

Jon, here are my two favorite Filmation series intros from the '70s:

Ark II:
https://youtu.be/Uyv9zxtgCCc

The Secrets of Isis:
https://youtu.be/FdBRLV6PGro

^ oh so THAT'S The Secrets of Isis! for a second I thought... nevermind... and yeah Rob, I've noticed all the comments about eggnog instead of the parody too but, oh well. it's worth talking about! besides, I've got 23 5-votes out of the deal, so who's complaining? maybe some of these people, or at least the ones who voted, have watched the movie I linked. I certainly hope so. I think it was criminally underrated, and deserves more exposure!

Hey, Jon ... basically Nurse Nancy just completely yanked my chain with her comment. So I wanted to show her that priapism, like so many other abnormal penile conditions, CAN BE .... a laughing matter!!! Take this comment thread. No sooner had NN whipped out this concept for presentation than your thread started expanding faster than an Anthony Weiner dick scandal. And then it just exploded

I bought some eggnog today Jonathan. Am I in the club yet? Btw, loved the movie!

CML - Ha! your wits are sharp as a Ginsu Knife! always a pleasure reading your comments! :) and as for the Anthony Weiner thing, I read a joke about it the other night: "if this ends up taking Hillary down, it will be the first time she's been screwed by a Weiner in years!" when I told my mother that joke, she took it one step further by adding: "it's probably true because IF Bill has played with her at all, it's probably been with a cigar!" (eww... ha ha ya know?)
Lonny - a club huh? actually, that's not a bad idea! the eggnog drinkers of Amiright! every October through January, we celebrate the holidays in style, with Southern Comfort eggnog! (alcohol optional.) I'm glad you liked the movie too! it really doesn't get the recognition it deserves (IMHO.) if you like SC eggnog, and "Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night" you're A-OK in my book! :)

Jon, in answer to Belinda's fears of her kids drinking alcohol through eggnog (seen by some as the perfect holiday gateway to alcohol initiation), might I suggest either buying seasonal Jones Eggnog Soda OR making this eggnog drink for the kids. You'll need a punch bowl and the ingredients to mix are: 1 liter lemon-lime soda (such as Sprite®) 2 quarts eggnog, 3 cups vanilla ice cream, softened, 1 pinch paprika

For the record, I am not CML, whose talents I respect. But I am a veteran contributor and humorist who, for this thread, chose to use a pseudonym. Somebody who thinks he owns this site is playing games, attributing my comments to CML. You Jon, have been hoodwinked. This time, we are not amused.

^^ Eggnog Soda eh? interesting. my Albertson's store carries the Jones brand, I'll have to see if they have this particular flavor. what Belinda might also want to do, is try mixing Eggnog with Ginger Ale. my brother & I just mixed some Southern Comfort with Schweppes tonight, and it was pretty good! not as good as the regular Eggnog on it's own in my opinion, but still pretty good. what we did, was take a small glass (about 10 ounces?) then poured a little Eggnog in the bottom, to where it was about only a fourth full. then we filled it the rest of the way with Ginger Ale! good way to mix Eggnog into another drink, without said other drink being alcoholic!

Well thanks for the positive feedback guys. You know, comedy doesn't take place in a vacuum ... unless you were to, say run over a sewer rat's tail with a vacuum, then that could be pretty funny ... but never mind that. The point is, if I dont get any positive strokes for my penile punning, the whole thing is going to fall flat. On the other hand (ba doom tsssh) if you give me some strokes, who knows? I will probably bust out with even more material

What are you taking credit for, CML? All you did was feed straight lines to Partly Pissed.

Everyone needs to calm down and have a nice cup of eggnog!