Well, beat the drum, you ---damn scum
The boss is on his way
He's on my back, he's a dagger in my side
I gott make like I'm at work
Gettin major projects done
There's no place left that I can run & hide

So put me on hold
I'm ready to wait today
Put me on hold, I'm ready to sleep
All week
Cause the old man down the road is stoppin by

While on hold I can sometimes doze
& catch up on some X rated dreams
With Linda Lovelace & Seka on my lap
When awake I can rock out to the sounds of ol' John Tesh
With Kenny G & Yanni, I'm glad it ain't rap

So put me on hold, I'm ready to space, today
Put me on hold, need Seka in lace, today
Look at me
I can snooze
On the phone

Got missing files, coffee stains
& a screen that blurs my eyes
With paper clips turned into fishing gear
Got shaking hands & quaking legs
& an angry twisted grin
It's time the world of HOLD returns my pride

So put me on hold, I'm ready to nap
Today
Put me on hold, don't need all this crap
Go ' way
Look at me
Peacefully,
I'm on hold