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Song Parodies -> "Jackin' My Van"

Original Song Title:

"Jack and Diane"

Original Performer:

John Cougar Mellencamp

Parody Song Title:

"Jackin' My Van"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Jackin’ My Van

Little ditty ‘bout jackin’ my van
Punk American thug showin’ up with a big plan
Jacker gonna be some gangland star
Bein’ nonchalant backstreet just jackin’ cars

Thinkin’ he's chilly dawg, he says gimme the ke-eys
This dude sportin’ a weapon now
He says to get down on my knees
I just say hey my man don’t go off van ain’t nothin’ to me
Quibble I don’t with guns or whacks
You can do what you please
And jacker say

Oh yeah I got gun
Gimme your wallet, and you might live on
(I say) Oh no this ain't fun
Losin' my new van, now wallet is gone
He walks on

Jacker turns ‘round and counts his loot for a moment
Scratches his head, I kick him in the spleen
Well then there jacker, we’re gonna haul you to the police
And I say homie, don't be takin' my green
Then I say

Oh yeah, that was fun
You’ll get you some jail, it’s time you were done
Oh yeah I say lost your gun
Had lots of courage, and now you have none

Aw you got rocked
You got rolled
Karate black belt come down
Knock you cold
You’ll go to prison, start doin’ your hitch
Gon’ see how tough you are
When they make you their bitch

Oh yeah life goes on
Get all kinds of thrills, as you go along
Oh yeah I say have some fun
Make up parodies and find a good song

A little ditty about jackin’ my van
Punk American thugs best not mess with me man

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Patrick - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
The way all carjackings should end.
Cody Slusher - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Pretty good.
Christie Marie M - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Hilarious! You've jacked 3 sets of 5's with this one! Oh, and I echo all comments above!
Mark Scotti - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
$555.00 for a new LoJack!!
Jonathan S. - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
At one point, this idea for a title switch did cross my mind, but I never fleshed it out.
Just as well; I think you did a better job with it than I could have. 555
alvin - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
lol...much better than the original lyrics
Fiddlegirl - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Hoping this isn't a true story... but it has a very happy ending!
Guy - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
Blackjack - Reading this is like watching a dumb-ass crime go down on TRU TV's "World's Dumbest Criminals". HA - That Jacker got his ass kicked so high he now needs a bombsite to take a dump. I puttin' some 5's on his six. Fine write.
DJ Blaze - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
I remember a guy at CM Gamers saying his car (with all his Yu-Gi-Oh cards in it) was jacked, but this is the real deal! 555
AFW - July 21, 2009 - Report this comment
I thought the van had a flat tire..but this is better...555
blackjack21 - July 22, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks everyone for the comments, I do appreciate them all.

This story was fictional, but if I ever do get car-jacked I now have a plan, lol.
McKludge - July 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Sounds like the last mission I did in Grand Theft Auto.

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