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Song Parodies -> "I help myself to loving ewes"

Original Song Title:

"I hate myself for loving you"

Original Performer:

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

Parody Song Title:

"I help myself to loving ewes"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

Yeah, you're right, I know, I know, this type of parody where the writer and his muse is going for sheep laughs has been done many times over, and over, and over. Our only defence here is that the title sub has never been done before and that it was irresistible to take on for such baaaaaadasses as the two of us.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here:
Midnight, there's no light, where's the ewes?
It's time to get me some, at least one or two
I know I'm pervy when I shag what you stew
Pitch black, can't hang back, the farmer's in town
I get on back 'less it's on Mary's lamb
And overzealous just from wool white or brown

I'm on the prowl every single day
I come at night with a batch of DNA

I help myself to loving ewes
Shagging spree in the barns' what I do
I want a flock but a one sheep will do
That way I help myself to loving ewes

They can't fence my lance from their ewes
Cos I've been spearing through the barnyards, it's true
I keep getting horny from their smell and the taboo
No rams and no lambs smooth me right
And that old cloned one Dolly's best outta sight
You oughta see my facebook, my felletes are wolly white

My balls get blue by the sight of hay
I come apart and I'll ram a pride a day

I'll hurt myself to get to ewes
Shepherd dogs and morass I'll plow through
Once stuck on barb wire, dick's now askew
That time I held my breath 'til I got blue

(Baaaaaa goes the flock - over a banjo solo)

I roam the barns 'til the night turns day
I have my way in a fucking sheepish way

I'll lie my way to loving ewes
Foot-and-mouth disease signs' my best coup
That closed a road and a farm, even two
And I could help myself to loving ewes

I help myself to loving ewes
Snook my wife and she don't have a clue
I cannot stop and this song's ballyhoo
No way I'm gonna stop to love the ewes

I help myself… to loving ewes
Can't stop myself… from shagging ewes
I help myself… to loving ewes
Can't stop myself… from shagging ewes
I help myself to loving ewes
© Peter Andersson.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Peter - Thank you. It's been way too long since we had a sheep parody. Very well're a true "wooly bully"! ;D
Mark Scotti - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
That should be one for making Turtle jealous for being so baaaaaaad...
Patrick - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
When that certain someone misses even a day here, there is always someone trying to usurp his place. Like the reference to cloning. That's my gig.
John Barry - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Beewetiful. But how'd you ever slip the F-bomb through?
Below Average Dave - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
The opening statement is a joke right? Because honestly, I don't think I've read any sheep parodies before this one. . .great TOS by the way too!
Matthias - November 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Dave- Half of Tommy Turtles parodies are about doing it with sheep.
Blaydeman - December 08, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well Tommy Turtle has some issues. Anyway, this parody is interesting. The pacing is great. I'm sorry but I'm not a fan of beastiality parodies though. Objectively this was a good parody, I just don't really like the subject.
Abbott Skelding - December 11, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM: Personally, I prefer "Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep"...but this was a great runner up in the shagging sheep genre. Nice work!
Matthias - December 11, 2010 - Report this comment
I still can't believe Dave hasn't read or heard any songs about screwing sheep before the release of this one. It has to be one of the most usual topics for song parody. Who knows why? I sure don't.
Mark Scotti - December 11, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM -Ewwwwwwwe wascuwiii pawiodist!!!
Jeff Reuben - December 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Okay, clever puns, sheep, and one of my favorite OS's, this one stuck in my head all day. Excellent job.
Nala Butt - December 22, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM: Facebook Friending a Sheep Shagger? EEEEEEEUUUUWWWWWWW!!!
Michael Juergens - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Strong original song, and the original concept has potential (pervy self-hate), but this falters I fear. Pacing problems, and the lyrical content just doesn’t grab me.
Below Average Dave - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
I caught a couple of missed rhymes, but overall good job with the tricky rhymes, but I disagree with Michael on the pacing problems strongly, I had no problem at all pacing the song, and the lyrical content was very odd-but it certainly kept my attention--mixed opinion for me, but well written none-the-less
bobpiecheese - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Welp, you managed to work in the word "shag" by the third line, that's all I need. Seriously though, great parody about a kinda icky topic that still somehow manages to create really funny parodies. Weird, innit? 555 to ewe, sir!
Max Power - March 13, 2016 - Report this comment
This parody is too furry if you know what I mean.
Matthias - March 17, 2016 - Report this comment
Ewwww is right. This is pretty hilarious though. Great addition to the flock.
Jeff Reuben - March 22, 2016 - Report this comment
And I remember this one, nice to enjoy again!
bobpiecheese - March 22, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See above...again!
Abbott Skelding - March 23, 2016 - Report this comment
Still funny after all these years. Nicely done!
Blaydeman - March 26, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See above
CML - May 01, 2022 - Report this comment
Reminds me of an old joke .. Did you know that Leon Trosky was not killed with a ball peen hammer. That was just a cover story by the Trosky-ite faction. In fact, he sustained a fatal heart attack while humping a sheep, making him history's first "died in the wool" Communist
CML - May 01, 2022 - Report this comment
I'm attempting to parody this very song just now, Peter and that's how I came acros- .. uh, I mean I happened upon this startling confessional of yours

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