Try to sneak it out the back door,
While you are not in the room.
We've been lying in your bed for an hour and a half,
But I don't want to let rip in front of you.

I've been unable to move,
If I do it might slip through.
I'm needing a fart so badly tonight,
But if I do I don't know what you might do!

I should have known that it would end up like this,
When I drank the whole night,
I'll bet I'm ready to spontaneously combust,
As the gases inside my gut fight.

You said you'd go make tea at 7 'o clock,
But now you've fallen asleep.
Oh, whatever you hear and whatever you smell,
Would you believe it wasn't from me???
Oh, whatever you hear and whatever you smell,
Would you believe it wasn't from me???

Don't know if you love me,
It was our first date,
I took one look at you thighs and I wanted you.
And you had, such a perfect body,
For me to caress,
No-ow I just need to get to the loo!

Don't know if you'll want me,
If I mess the bed,
I'm scared if I let go now, then I'll follow through.
And there are no marks on the covers,
You'd notice for sure,
Oh-oh what the hell am I gonna do???

And there were so many things, that just could have gone wrong,
I could've failed, arrived early, been too late.
All that was fine, thought that I had no worries last night.
Until I woke up, my flatulence rife,
And now I'm needing to fart again.

I thought it had passed but it's back with fight,
And now I'm desp'rate to fart again.

I've never before, felt discomfort like,
Now when I'm needing to fart again.

Needing to fart again.

I should've re'lised that whatever went in,
Has to come out somehow.
I'd bet that even a gasmask from wor-ld war 2,
Would not be enough to save me now.

There was a time when I was proud of my stock,
Could even set it alight!
But whatever my toxins were used for before,
They're nothing but a burden tonight.
They're nothing but a burden tonight!

But down the bed now,
down the bed now I'm sure..

I felt a vibration, from right next to me,
I took one look to my right, it couldn't be true.
Coz I saw, your near perfect body, all shining bright red,
Oh-oh and you've such an embarrassed look!

And there were so many things that it just might have been,
A sudden friction, hidden sex toy, mobile phone.
Make no mistake, we both know that you farted just now,
That makes it my turn, my cheeks are clenched tight,
And now I've freedom to fart again,
That makes it my turn, hold on for your life,
Because I'm going to fart again!

I just can't believe, I held on all night,
And then you beat me to fart again.
I always believed, girls didn't do that,
"Til you let rip with that whopper just then.
And I'd bet alright, your cheeks are red-raw,
Coz I'd be proud of that one you jus gave.
And now I don't need, to ever worry,
About my needing to fart again!!!

Needing to fart again…