I want a new rug - one that won't slip
One that won't blow off my head
One that has a good grip

I want a new rug - one that won't hurt my head
One that doesn't look like a nest
With something that is dead

One that won't make me nervous
When I 'm in the wind
one that looks okay when I'm out with my friends
When I'm out with friends

I want a new rug - one with no frills
Doesn't look like a porcupine
With all them quills

I want a new rug - one I can put
On the nightstand by my bed
And the next day still looks good

One that won't make me nervous
Wonderin' what to do
One that doesn't look like the tail of a raccoon
Like a big raccoon

I want a new rug
One that says where it should
One that won't make me look too bad
One that won't make me look too good

I want a new rug
one that gives me clout
One that won't make me talk too much
Or make my skin break out

One that won't make me nervous
When I'm in the wind
One that looks okay when I'm out with my friends
When I'm out with friends