I want a gnu rug
One that won't try to bite
I need one that won't play guitar
Or party all through the night

I want a gnu rug
One that won't crawl to bed
One that won't make me wonder why
Seems to be playin' dead

One that won't play with gerbils
Hummin' on his kazoo
One that looks just like the one they got at the zoo
A most peculiar gnu

I want a gnu rug
One that won't steal
When taken out to lunch
Will pay for his meal

I want a gnu rug
One that won't run away
One that won't snack all through the night
One that won't start to drink all day

One that won't clash with velvet
One that won't shed it's hair
One that won't keep taking all my kids down to the fair
And can't climb up the stairs
And will never catch rabies

I want a gnu rug
One that stays where it should
One that won't flinch when I lay down
One that won't mind the feel of wood

I want a gnu rug
One that won't pout
One that won't say I weigh too much
Or take up space no doubt

One that won't kick my pelvis
Cause I like kangaroos
One that won't drink all my milk
Or ever touch my booze
And won't get on the news

I want a gnu rug
Want one that never shrinks
One that can make me feel happy
Never blabs or says what he thinks

I want a gnu rug
And when I'm old
Might wear one on top of my head
In case my dome gets cold

One that won't hide the breadcrumbs
Under his past tense hide
One that won't play in the rain
Then track mud prints inside
Mobility denied