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Song Parodies -> "I Want a New Drudge"

Original Song Title:

"I Want a New Drug"

Original Performer:

Huey Lewis and The News

Parody Song Title:

"I Want a New Drudge"

Parody Written by:

Callmelennie

The Lyrics

Lately, I (along with about 20 million of my fellow right wing hobbits) have been noticing that the Drudge report ain't quite what it used to be; seems to be increasingly driving traffic for the Times and WaPO and all the usual progresssive online suspects. So when folks ask me what I want for Christmas, I tell 'em …..
I want a new Drudge
One that ain't losing clicks*
One that wont make me gnash my teeth
And cater to … old peaceniks
I want a new Drudge
One that wont be misled
One that ain't filled up with lies
Or make my eyes see red

One that'll be impervious
To Deep State point of view
One that makes me feel like
I'm dealing with real news
So I'm disowning you

I want a new Drudge
One that wont bail
One that wont .. push WaPo
Or the Daily Mail
I want a new Drudge
One that wont go astray
One that wont push the New York Times
One that wont bash Trump all day

One that wont disservice
The right wing point of view
One that makes me feel like
It's not part of a coup

Cause I bemoan the coup
And you will own the coup, Matt babe

I want a new Drudge
One that wont veer left
One that wont make me feel betrayed
One that wont make me feel bereft
I want a new Drudge
One that wont sell OUT
One that wont crawl for Google bucks
Or do Deep STATE .. fake out

One that wont desert us
Drown us in fake news
One that make me feel like
It differs from Yahoo

Cause I've outgrown Yahoo
And I've out grown you too, Matt ..

*To the tune of several hundred million last month … Go hip, lose clicks

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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CC - December 13, 2019 - Report this comment
Maybe they're waxing ironic? Huey Lewis and The Fake News, anyone? I appreciate the candor of your lament and how it pairs with TOS, even with my two left feet. Right on!
TJC - December 13, 2019 - Report this comment
I love your take on this! Great work!
CML - December 14, 2019 - Report this comment
More of a bash than a lament, CC, as Drudge substitutes, or "Drudgesubs" (as absolutely no one in their right mind has called them) have already sprung up ... But I appreciate the complement, because when someone who disagrees with you says "This is good", that's the kindest cut of all.
CML - December 14, 2019 - Report this comment
Thanks TC. I got a strong positive reaction to this on a couple of conservative humor sites, so I put it down here. I had the same reaction myself when I previewed this .. "Oh, this is good"
CC - December 15, 2019 - Report this comment
I see your point, CML -- poor word choice on my part. Probably projecting a little, as it'd be lamentable to me to find my own aforementioned feet in those shoes, and not just because I'd be going in circles searching for my new/s fix. I reckon I might want to do some bashing, too. "Drubs" seems apt here, if I may dip my Port Man toe into the waters.
CML - December 16, 2019 - Report this comment
I see what you did there CC; Oh Master of Wordplay, thou

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