You want a new gun
One you can't even shoot
One that don't have no bullets in
And one that won't hurt your foot

You want a new gun
One that leaves no one dead
One that won't help your family
When you bolt out of bed

One that won't make crooks nervous
They've got guns that shoot
They've got shiny bullets
That go root toot toot toot
yeah, they go root toot toot

You want a new gun
One that won't kill
One that blows water out
And gives you a thrill
You want a new gun
one that won't blow away
Some intruder that comes at night
To steal one of your kids away

Why make the whole world nervous?
you know what to do
you can really feel like a victim with no clue
A victim with no clue

You want a new gun
One that ain't any good
One that won't make the thugs feel bad
One that makes bleeding hearts feel good
you want a new gun
There is no doubt
Kitchen knives ain't the ticket, man
When the glass breaks out
Feeling alone and nervous?
You know what to do
It's your right to keep and to bear your own arms too
To bear your own arms too
Just like the criminals do, yeah yeah
And they've got bullets, too