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Song Parodies -> "Monopoly"

Original Song Title:

"Dr Stein"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Seems like every lyric site in the world has this one wrong: in the album sleeve, it's "Dr Stein grows party creatures", which turns up nowhere in google...

Dr Stein on YouTube
Said he killed his sister for not paying what she owed
When she stopped on his hotel on the Old Kent Road

She said that he owed her
For her house on Leicester Squer
His reaction was an awful shame:
'Cause he picked up the lead pipe
And he took a heavy swipe
In the library.. oh no, wrong game

'Nopoly's a hateful hobby
Conflicts run all through the night
Causes family divisions
Always ends in fights
Yes, in fights

Sometimes when we're feeling bored we have another game
Don't know why we bother 'cause it always ends the same

I never, ever fail
To land on "Go to jail"
"Bank dividends" aren't paid to me
And it's never, ever me
Who'll get out of jail free
That's why I hate Monopolee

'Nopoly's for lucky b*****ds
Win just once? You'd think I might
If it looks like I am winning
He'll just start a fight

[Marvellously whiny guitar solo]

One night was such a game:
I had Mayfair and Park Lane
But when he came to take a Chance
I think I saw it say
On the card "Advance to May..."
But he put it back, did not advance

'Nopoly turns friends to en'mies
Calculated to incite
All you want's your own possessions
Why'd we play tonight?

'Nopoly's a putrid pastime
Causes hate, greed and spite
Both depression and aggression
And you know I'm right
Yes, I'm right
Yes, I'm right

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Rick C - November 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes, Monopoly can be problematic but, your parody here is not. Another brilliant write from Mr. Alexander. Glad I stopped by..555
Below Average Dave ( - November 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Great parody on a buggar of a game. . .a game that's as much luck as it is skill. . . 'Nopoly's for lucky b*****ds Win just once? You'd think I might If it looks like I am winning He'll just start a fight is awesome
Matthias - November 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Awesome choice of OS. Already this looks to be a fun round!!!
TJC - November 03, 2007 - Report this comment
DKTOS so appreciated the link (I like 'em!)... I agree with Rick C's analysis... great write... 'tain't funny if it ain't at least mostly true! 3 Hotels on Park Place/Boardwalk for ya' (I'm on Marvin Gardens and dreading my next roll)!
Phil Alexander - November 04, 2007 - Report this comment
It's a great OS to parody (providing you don't look too closely at the original lyrics... which are kind of odd, but great fun nonetheless); I really can't stand the game...
Thanks, all... and good to see you round, Rick
Kristof Robertson - November 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Great stuff, Phil. Monopoly is an curious creation; I have never managed to get through a whole game without recriminations, arguments, expressions of boredom,someone wanting to thump the smug git who's winning etc etc. And it's called "entertainment"...555
stuart mcarthur - November 05, 2007 - Report this comment
*Wee-e-ell, spot the guy who never won $10 in a beauty contest - coughkristofcough*

and that "Go Directly To Jail" card which is such a negative in the early capital-building stages becomes such a godsend when you're faced with hotels on every dark green and dark blue property - great target Phil for Dec2.4 - except now I can't use it, dammit - 555
Below Average Dave ( - November 14, 2007 - Report this comment
The lyrics were friggin awesome. . . but I did have trouble following them a bit to the OS. . .still an awesome write Phil, my favorite part came early with the lead pipe in the library, out of parody references are always good for a gag.
Agrimorfee - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(Dec) I didn't have trouble pacing this at all with the video I found. Unfortunately, I didn't find much giggles in the lyrics themselves, other than the fact they were inserted into a stereotypical metal anthem! :) I really wish the twist in the first verse made me laugh, but...:(
Matthias - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(Dec) Still lovin' the OS, and the parody wasn't bad, I liked the Clue reference.
bobpiecheese - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(Dec 2.0) I'm also lovin' the Cluedo reference (damn Yankees). Excellent work again, Phil!
Kristof Rpbertson - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(DEC 2.4) See above....great stuff, Phil
Jeff Reuben - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I enjoyed reading the British equivalent of the Monopoly streets, I guess I never thought about that. Nice job!
stuart mcarthur - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(dec2.4) see above - quite a philosophical opinion piece this, Phil - whenever I start a game, I go "uh oh, I remember all this" knowing there's 3 hours of pain ahead
Arwen - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Decathlon...I like this, Phil...=) I never truly enjoyed Monopoly until they recently came out with a debit card version that makes life so much easier. Before I'd played with the electronic version, I don't know that I'd ever actually finished a hateful game! Nice work!
Jack Wilson - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment
This was HILARIOUS,5
Mikey Squirrel - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment
DEC- You really landed on free parking with this one, Phil. reminds me of how cutthroat this game really is. Good job.

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