Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "(U Wouldn't Wanna ) Touch This"

Original Song Title:

"U Can't Touch This"

Original Performer:

Hammer

Parody Song Title:

"(U Wouldn't Wanna ) Touch This"

Parody Written by:

Yoidy

The Lyrics

can't touch dis
wanna touch dis
u donwanna touch dis
get atta hea & leave dis

Hi guy dis is Hamma time
It ain't headin to da slamma time
I'm da guy in ya bathroom mirror
Wipe off the fog so ya see a lil clearer
I ain't da Candyman but I might be ya handyman
Cause I was rap's lowest point
Ain't even fit to smoke dem joints
I stood up for da Opra contingent
Not da bruthas onna street sniffin Tide detergent
I was da first black whitebread accountant
Remember Dexter on Silver Spoons?
Dat was me, I was one o dem goons
Who spiffed the shoes of the white platoons
Inspired Tiger Woods to use Bob Hope's clubs
Embrace white culture be their circus bear cub
i do dubs

U aint fit to touch dis
U don' wanna touch dis
OK so you can't touch dis
Get atta hea don mess wit dis

People say I'm a piece of s---t in a jumpsuit
Don't look like any banga who lifts loot
look like Bobby Brown's retarted brutha
bandagin the boils of some guy's gay mutha
I been behind da desk since time began
Addin expense accounts, subtractin bruthas pension plan
U get more wit honey & grease than vinegar
Grease me up for the fun of dat Sinatra singer
anyway, i still do dubs

U can't touch dis
U don wanna touch dis
Wassa matta dis is too good fa u?
Leave dis alone, get away u

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.3
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 1
 2
 
 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Excuse me a sec.. - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
This was 90s not 80s! I thought we all new that
Jeff Reuben - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Wow, people are really hung up on the decade thing here! Can't Touch This was up for an award in the 1990 MTV music video awards. The album came out Feb 2, 1990. But song came out in October of 1989. I thought we all knew that!!!!
Sorry man - August 20, 2003 - Report this comment
I know it was a hit in the year 1990, which we would most commonly associate it with. So would it be both 80s and 90s then?
Sorry man - August 20, 2003 - Report this comment
What I mean is, 80s since that's when it was released, and 90s since that's when it became a hit.
daniel - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
who cares and the artist is mc hammer not hammer!!!!!!!(in retarded mimicing voice) i thought we all new that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/hammer0.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1401