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Song Parodies -> "Tomb Raider"

Original Song Title:

"Maneater"

Original Performer:

Hall & Oates

Parody Song Title:

"Tomb Raider"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Alicia Vikander is the new Lara Croft in a prequel adventure. She has all of her skills and knowledge, but no experience. She's out to find her father. Opens March 16, 2018.
She mostly prefers to fight
The smart and skillful type
She's got a job to do
Which concerns her lost father
Location hunting
Takes a weapon or two
And into the sky she soars

Lara Croft is very pretty
Doesn't like pink
It's not her thing
The woman is wild
A tigress untamed
Trained less for love than for war
Evidence scattered
A problem to solve
But tracking she's known for

(Chorus)
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
Watch out beasts
When she shows up
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
She's a tomb raider
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
Watch out guys
She'll beat you up
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
She's a tomb raider

I wouldn't if I were you
This woman you can't pursue
She doesn't need a man
And prefers to spend time apart
Only the hunt matters
On the move, here & there
Being shot at with bullets and darts!

(Chorus)

[God, we all want to see her nude]

Ooooooooh
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
On the run
Watch out thugs
She'll F-ck you up
(Whoa-oh, here she comes)
(Watch out) she's a tomb raider
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
(She's a tomb raider)
Ooh, she'll mess you up
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
With blazing guns, she's a tomb raider
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
(Watch out)
She mostly prefers to fight
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
Here she comes
She's a tomb raider
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
(She's a tomb raider)
The woman is wild, whoooa
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
Here she comes
Never cries, do or die
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
Oh, watch out, watch out
Watch out, watch out
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
(Yeah, yeah) she's a tomb raider
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
(She's a tomb raider)
Waiting... anticipating...
(Oh-oh, here she comes)
Oh, she's a tomb raider
Death-evading decimator...

Lady Lara Anne Croft*
* Her original character name was to be Laura Cruz, an Indiana Jones rip-off. Her name was chosen from a British phone book under the C pages as close to the original Latina last name. The middle name was dropped afterwards...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   9
 10
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User Comments

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Jonathan - August 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Tomb Raider? I think my brother has that game. 455
Rob Arndt - August 07, 2017 - Report this comment
He should have a whole bunch of them! ;-)

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