My friend, once again you are misaligned,
hey are you blind?
You're aiming too far to the right—oops! You missed it this time
I think maybe you need help, yes I know that I'm right
Now your shoes are wet, floor is sticky and it doesn't smell nice.

But every time you piss and you miss
You must clean this
When you unzip, and something is amiss
I say please sit, if you try, you can't go awry
(because you piss) you piss, sometimes you miss
(because you piss) you piss, sometimes you miss
(because you piss) you piss, sometimes you miss
'Cause when you piss sometimes you miss, because you are a guy
(because you piss) you piss, sometimes you miss
(because you piss) you piss, and you should sit
Although you are a guy

You go crazy wondering how to control your pee
And at night do you turn on the light so at least you can see?
Sometimes you forget what you're doing and you slip on the floor
And who's gonna clean up your mess? Please go mop some more.

And if you insist on blaming your bris
I'll tell you this
If you only took a few moments to think
You'll aim it true, don't be blue, hey--you missed the sink
(because you piss) you piss, sometimes you miss
(because you piss) you piss, sometimes you miss
(because you piss) you piss, sometimes you miss
'Cause when you piss sometimes you miss, because you are a guy
(because you piss) you piss, sometimes you miss
(because you piss) you piss, and you should sit
Although you are a guy