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Song Parodies -> "Ham Eaters"

Original Song Title:

"Maneater"

Original Performer:

Hall & Oates

Parody Song Title:

"Ham Eaters"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

I'm a non-religious type
Forget the Arab & Jewish hype
No laws on foods
For Gentiles and Infidels no more
No dietary law debating
God put nothing on us
So we hunted and ate galore

The Orthodox agree
We ate pink
From our pigs
We are defiled
Religion to blame
For unclean foods and more
But it never mattered
Pig and animal blood
Gentiles YHWH ignored

(Chorus)
(Oh-oh, here they come)
Watch out Jews
They eat bad stuff
(Oh-oh, here they come)
They are ham eaters
(Oh-oh, here they come)
Watch out for Goys
They eat bad stuff
(Oh-oh, here they come)
They are ham eaters

We love ham sandwiches too
And ham made in stews
Cooked in a pan
In an oven or spit over fire art
The more the better
Bacon strips or jerky tears
Want to tear that pig apart!

(Chorus)

[Pig is a delicious food]

Ooooooooh
(Oh-oh, here they come)
Here they come
Watch out Arabs
They eat bad stuff
(Whoa-oh, here they come)
(Watch out) they are ham eaters
(Oh-oh, here they come)
(They are ham eaters)
They all eat bad stuff
(Oh-oh, here they come)
Here they come, they are ham eaters
(Oh-oh, here they come)
(Watch out)
Baked ham is such a delight
(Oh-oh, here they come)
Here they come
They are ham eaters
(Oh-oh, here they come)
(They are ham eaters)
Are they really defiled?
(Oh-oh, here they come)
Here they come
Watch out for Goys, non-Arab boys
(Oh-oh, here they come)
Oh, watch out, watch out
Watch out, watch out
(Oh-oh, here they come)
(Yeah, yeah) they are ham eaters
(Oh-oh, in ME with guns)
(They are ham eaters)
Ammunition blood dripping, ooh-oh
(Oh-oh, here they come)
Infidels of Satan
While Arabs still cling to pig defilement, Jesus makes it clear in the N/T that it is not what goes into a man that defiles him, but what comes out of his mouth. The old unclean had been made clean. The old Jewish dietary law is void since Christ came. Matthew 15:11

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

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User Comments

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Jonathan - June 18, 2018 - Report this comment
furthermore, s'all good if you pray over it! 5s
Patrick - June 18, 2018 - Report this comment
I stopped eating pork under the influence of a Christian sect, The World Wide Church of God (Garner Ted Armstrong) while I was still in high school. Read some Nation of Islam material around the same time. I believe the scripture you cite refers to people rather than food, that a Gentile can become a follower of Yeshua the same a Jew could accept Him as Savior. A man made clean in Christ is no longer defiled. The nature of swine, shellfish and the like has not changed.
Bible Thumper - June 18, 2018 - Report this comment
As the Book of Acts makes clear, Christians are not obligated to follow this holiness code. This is made clear in Peter's vision in Acts 10:15. Peter is told, 'What God has made clean, do not call common.' In other words, there is no kosher code for Christians. Christians are not concerned with eating kosher foods and avoiding all others. That part of the law is no longer binding, and Christians can enjoy shrimp and pork with no injury to conscience.
Rob Arndt - June 18, 2018 - Report this comment
I guess it matters who you are and what you believe, Patrick. Jewish and Arab dietary laws never applied to Gentiles/Infidels. But I understand the NT to say that food doesn't defile anyone anymore. The Law is gone, we are under a new covenant. Jews that believe in Jesus are Messianic Jews and don't have to be under the old food laws. Arabs reject both YHWH and Jesus, so they live under an old archaic food code. Jews that reject Christ also adhere to outdated food laws. A person, regardless of belief, should eat what they feel is best. I don't like vegetarianism nor veganism, but to each his own. I love shellfish and eat pork in moderation. At least lamb and the fatted calf are always safe with the three monotheistic religions ;-)
Patrick - June 19, 2018 - Report this comment
I believe the dietary laws also reflect health concerns. Many of the proscribed animals contain high levels of unhealthy fats. Others absorb toxins from the environment at a higher rate. Jews and Muslims never considered that their ritual and dietary laws applied to non-believers. Only the laws concerning murder, theft, adultery, and other such acts that harm others. Not the observance of the holy days, Ramadan, and daily prayers. Those who know me well will quickly observe that my personal food rules are "unorthodox" to an extreme. These go back to my early childhood before I could even articulate them. I don't like cheese. Or eggs. Or most spicy, hot or intense anything. Chicken with bones in it. Used to have a rule about not eating fish and chicken on the same day. No alcoholic drinks. No coffee. But I like sweet tea, way too much. Not much carbonated soda. But I will buy root beer at outdoor festivals, where the seller is making it on site, never from grocery stores. Always order hamburgers plain, no mustard, ketchup, pickles, and the like. Onions are OK. There are more complications that are too numerous to describe in a small space. Again, they only apply to me. My family and friends think I'm weird. While some of my rules are of religious origin, I just consider them personal quirks now, and not a subject for proselytizing.

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