I'm sittin' here because it's all I do,
I've been online a while.
Surfing this website every day now.
There was a time when I was so sure
I could get my Ph.D.
But now I doubt
I'll finish anyhow.

Said, "Professor, I'm working slow,
But it will work itself out fine."
I just need to do my dissertation.
But this topic really blows
And I'd rather turn out rhymes.
I don't wanna to do my dissertation.

Do my dissertation. Yeah.
This stupid dissertation. Yeah.
My goddamn dissertation. Yeah.

I sit here in my chair,
All my friends are doing fine.
But I know out of this program
I am falling.
Sometimes, I feel the guilt
But I can't focus my mind.
Maybe writing songs is
My true calling.

Said "Professor, I got nothing to show,
I just need a little time."
I just need to do my dissertation.
Why grad school? I don't know.
Sounded good at the time.
I don't think I've got what it takes to make it...
And I can't fake it.
Ooh I might forsake it,
Cause I can't take it.

Do my dissertation. Yeah.
This stupid dissertation. Yeah.
My goddamn dissertation. Yeah.

(Screaming like Axl)
I been doing parodies all night!
It's all I ever I seem to write!
It's hard to read when this is so much more fun!
You know I just like sitting 'round making puns!
And I don't want to go back to working again,
I ain't got time for the pain!
Cuz I need to..
Yeah I need to...
Ooh, I need to..
Whoah I need to...
Surf "AmIright!!!!"