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Song Parodies -> "Don't Let Hank Drive"

Original Song Title:

"I Will Survive"

Original Performer:

Gloria Gaynor

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Let Hank Drive"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Hank is a friend, he's stoned, he's so petrified
Been drinkin' not let him drive you. do not risk your hide
He's been in the bar all night, check his breath, it's whiskey strong
Could ring a gong,
If he drives, it will be so wrong..

He's staggerin' around the place
And not sure if he's there or here,
Just take a good look at his face
And you will keep your car doors locked
Won't think of givin' him the key
He's gonna' bug you every second
But on the road he shouldn't be..

I'm sure soon, he'll hit the floor
Actin' real crazy,
Not too coherent anymore
It isn't hard to see the bloodshot in his eye
When he talks, it's mumble..
Sober, he's a wonderful guy
But now he's high..Don't Let Hank Drive!
Not if you care and value your life, and wish to stay alive
You both have a lifetime to live
So please, the keys, to him, don't give
He can't drive..
Don't Let Hank Drive !
Say no..

Don't..Don't Let Hank Drive!
Oh, no
Don't..Don't Let Hank Drive!
Not today,
Please, Don't Let Hank Drive!
Please don't..

He drank twelve beers, then chased it with Rock n' Rye
All night he clowned around, like walkin' backwards, sayin' goodbye
He'd move the stools when ladies sat,
Laughed when they tumbled on their ass
A sorry sight, bartender cut him off, tonight
He got irate, like drinkers do..
Wanted to fight with everybody, used rough language, too
And so you gotta' listen up, last guy who oughta' drive is he
He's like a blind man on a tightrope...a walkin' catastrophe

Ride with me, don't get in the car
Just call a taxi, they'll pick you up at the bar
The least bad thing of all, he'll get a DUI
Just look at him stumble, if you let him drive you could die
Don't let him try..Don't Let Hank Drive!
When he's sober, he's a guy to love..But he's been here since five
Use your common sense and live..
I'm beggin' you, his keys, don't give..
Hank can't drive,
Don't Let Hank Drive!
Please don't!

Stay here, don't ride in his car
I'll call a taxi, they'll pick you up where you are
The cops are everywhere, checkpoints for drivers high
You see how he stumbles.. you and my friend, Hank..both could die
You must see why..he should not drive..
Later, safe at home you'll understand, be glad you're both alive
Though he's mad now, he'll forgive
And thank you, 'cause you made him live..
He can't drive,
Don't Let Hank Drive!
Don't Let Hank Drive!

(No, Don't Let Hank Drive!)
(Don't..Don't Let Hank Drive!)
Not tonight..
(Do Not Let Hank Drive!)
No, No!

(Jill, Don't Let Hank Drive!)
(Please, You won't survive)
You won't survive..
(If you let Hank drive..)

(Sirens, I hear five)
To the scene I quickly drive
(Hank's car's hit a train)
Police and ambulance arrive
(None, survive it's plain)
She let Hank Drive!
(My God!)
She let Hank Drive!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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alvin - February 04, 2009 - Report this comment
funny and sad at the same time
Andria - February 04, 2009 - Report this comment
I echo Alvin, and this parody reminds me a little bit of a recent quadruple vehicular-homicide case in my new hometown of Eugene, Oregon that killed three children and one adult thanks to a man who had been drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. 5s.
adagio - February 04, 2009 - Report this comment
I agree with what alvin said. 5's
MrMacphisto - February 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Good message... 5-5-5
AFW - February 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks alvin, Andria, adagio, and MrMac.
UnKnownVotress - February 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Sir L'Air de Farce, Duke 0'Edge, . . . " Please don't spank my hind "

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