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Song Parodies -> "Virgin Is Just for Adults!"

Original Song Title:

"Lonely Won't Leave Me Alone"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Glenn Medeiros

Parody Song Title:

"Virgin Is Just for Adults!"

Parody Written by:

thewhizkidforte

The Lyrics

Using Glenn Medeiros's 1987 cover of the Jermaine Jackson ballad, here's my response to the FUNNIEST CRUISE LINE COMMERCIAL EVER (in my opinion). In it, the kids lament a la 80s AOR (adult - pun COMPLETELY INTENDED - oriented rock) music video about being denied a Virgin Voyages cruise - all because they are under 18. (The girl in the end having a swear word censored by a ship horn was cute, though.) So, this is a song from their fathers' point of view. And the sax riffs in the parody are all maritime songs!
*Intro plays*

Visions inside my head
Of a great gourmet spread
In my mind
Is what this tired daddy deserves
It’s time to treat Dad right
Under a starlit night
With cocktails
And a few scrumptious late night desserts
And you complain about
Something that you all pout
How this policy makes you scream
Time to act your ages
'Cause Virgin Voyages
Won’t let you sail till you are all 18.

Virgin is just for adults!
Virgin is just for adults!
Kids, go to bed
Because you all have school tomorrow
Oh -
Stop the whining now!
Children, suck it up
Virgin Voyages’ just for adults!

Daddy sincerely knows
You wanna watch those shows
I deserve -
To watch revues in quiet and peace
Hey kids - it’s not your pool!
Adults need time off too
Hug Grandma,
Be on your best behavior, please
So, children - deal with it!
It’s not your (ship horn sounds) -ing ship
Here’s your babysitter now!
Time to treat Daddy right
To bed! It’s a (ship horn sounds) school night!
Please be quiet! Kids, I don’t give a cow!

Virgin is just for adults!
Virgin is just for adults!
Kids, go to bed
Because you all have school tomorrow
Oh –
Stop the whining now!
Children, suck it up
Virgin Voyages’ just for adults!

*Saxophonist plays a snippet of "Anchors Aweigh"*

(Virgin is just for adults!)
Time to treat Daddy right!
(Virgin is just for adults!)
It’s a school night!
(Virgin-)
To bed! You all have school tomorrow!

*Saxophonist plays a snippet of "Russian Sailors' Dance"*

(Virgin is just for adults!)
It’s only for grownups!
(Virgin is just for adults!)
So, suck it up!
(Virgin -)
To bed! You all have school tomorrow!

*Saxophonist plays a snippet of "Sailing, Sailing"*

(Virgin is just for adults!)
I really do not -
(Virgin is just for adults!)
Give a cow!
(Virgin -)
Virgin Voyages’ just for adults!

*Saxophonist plays a snippet of "Eternal Father, Strong to Save"*
Copyright 2022, The Whiz Kid Forte/True Freedom Believers (https://tfbmicroblogfeeds.tumblr.com/microblogs)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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 13
 

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