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Song Parodies -> "Where I'm the Only One Named James"

Original Song Title:

"Where Everybody Knows Your Name (Cheers Theme) "

Original Performer:

Gary Portnay

Parody Song Title:

"Where I'm the Only One Named James"

Parody Written by:

Glenn Walker

The Lyrics

There were two Apostles named James. By tradition, they are referred to as James the Great (brother of John), and James the Less. Some excuse the insensitivity of those designation by supposing that one was tall, and the other short. Today, unless a speaker says otherwise, "James" is presumed to refer to James (father's name Zebedee), rather than James (father's name Alpheus).
[TOGETHER]
Our sobriquet in the world today, has one gigantic hook.
Shout for "Jim" and the chance is grim that we will even look.
It's so unlikely you meant me.

[JAMES OF ALPHEUS]
Here's the mess, I'm James Less, tell me "Less than what?"
So I'm short but don't report that I can't make the cut.
I'm every bit as blessed as he.

[TOGETHER]
Sometimes I want to go where I'm the only one named James.
There are forty thousand names.
I wanna square where Jims are rare. I'm tir'd of all these games.
I wanna be where I'm the only one named James.

[JAMES OF ZEBEDEE]
Seems by fate that I'm James Great, It's not that big a deal.
What's great is home where I'm James alone. Me and wife Lucille,
And two daughters March and Jubilee.

[TOGETHER]
We're glad, there's one place in the world
Where I'm the only one named James: where uniqueness still remains.
My private lair where Jims are rare, each with sep'rate names.
I wanna be where I'm the only one named James.

Where I'm the only one named James where uniqueness still remains
Where I'm the only one named James where uniqueness still remains
Where I'm the only one named James where uniqueness still remains

[LUCILLE, TALKING AS THOUGH ON THE PHONE]
Hey Mom, it's me, Lucille.

I have some wonderful news. I just got back from the Doctor and….

YES!! It is official now. Isn't it great!

No James doesn't know yet.

Look, he named the girls March and Jubilee. hmmmph

I remember. James’ brother, the Apostle John, was adamant about the name Denise. I was OK with the name… until I figured out what he liked about it.

Mom, he wanted to name the boy DeNephew. I'm naming this one.

I hope it's a boy this time. I've always wanted a James Junior.
My sincere apologies for the insensitive use of your name if your name actually is either March or Jubilee.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   15
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

CML - January 25, 2024 - Report this comment
Im not hostile to what you're doing, but here's one caveat . Dont flood the zone with 6, 7, 8 parodies because the work of other authors will get lost in the shuffle. They might get overlooked. So, to quote my mother of blessed memory, " Keep it down to a dull roar" .. Three or more at most.
Glenn Walker - January 25, 2024 - Report this comment
Noted, and thank you for telling me. I just found this web site on Saturday. Still learning my way around.
pickle - January 27, 2024 - Report this comment
Poor James The Less!

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