Grandma got run over by a John Deere
Plowed her real good, now she's kaput
You can say old folks are always welcome
But I think that my grandma's underfoot

She'd been put out to the pasture
Out at Golden Fogey Hills
What a harrowing disaster
Grandma, ask not for whom the bell tills

It was hoe-rrible to ponder
We all field bad no doubt
Combined with that we have to wonder
Who should water Grandma when she sprouts

Grandma got run over by a Goodyear
Not far from the Superdome got hit
You can say old folks don't like rock music
But Grandma thinks that Zeppelin's heavy sh*t

I could Ramble On for hours
Goodyear maybe, not for her
Looks like a Whole Lotta Lunchmeat
She bought herself that Stairway, that's for sure

Grandma got run over by a plane gear
Squashed and brought up with a landing tire
You can say there's no such thing as angels
But now she's one of heaven's frequent flyers

She went down to get her luggage
By the carousel she sat
Said she'd go see what's the problem
And she'd be back in seven minutes flat

Grandma got run over by a train, dear
Thought the tracks a parking lot somehow
You can say old folks ain't got no teeth left
But Grandma sure can chew-chew-chew right now