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Song Parodies -> "Grandpa Paid Off Santa For the Reindeer"
Original Song Title:
"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer"
Original Performer:
Elmo and Patsy
Parody Song Title:
"Grandpa Paid Off Santa For the Reindeer"
Parody Written by:
Elena M.
The Lyrics
I just never thought the story quite added up...
Grandpa paid off Santa for the reindeer,
"Accident" that happened Christmas Eve,
You may think he really did love Grandma,
But it was just a big conspiracy.
I saw him standing by the fireplace,
Waiting for us all to leave,
Put out cigars instead of cookies,
With a big old wad of cash rolled in his sleeve.
Don't you think that it's ironic,
Santa took a different route,
But she was sitting on a fortune,
And a nice insurance policy to boot.
Grandpa paid off Santa for the reindeer,
"Accident" that happened Christmas Eve,
You may say I'm disrespecting Grandma,
But once you hear the facts, then you'll believe.
It was not coincidental,
He let her go home by herself,
I even think he had a back-up,
Cuz he stole her medication from the shelf.
Got some flack about this theory,
When I questioned cousin Mel,
But in his eyes I saw a flicker,
When he grabbed a beer and told me, "Go to Hell."
Grandpa paid off Santa for the reindeer,
"Accident" that happened Christmas Eve,
I know you're still getting over Grandma,
But I also noticed Grandpa didn't grieve.
Oh they thought they were so careful,
But Santa made some stupid moves,
Found a letter in the mailbox,
With a big vet bill for cupid's broken hooves.
You don't know that Ol' Chris Kringle,
He's a hit-man on the side,
It's not the bells that make him jingle,
And not kindness that allows him to survive.
I saw it Grandpa!
Grandpa paid off Santa for the reindeer,
"Accident" that happened Christmas Eve,
You may say I'm disrespecting Grandma,
But know you've heard the facts, don't you agree?
"Accident" that happened Christmas Eve,
You may think he really did love Grandma,
But it was just a big conspiracy.
I saw him standing by the fireplace,
Waiting for us all to leave,
Put out cigars instead of cookies,
With a big old wad of cash rolled in his sleeve.
Don't you think that it's ironic,
Santa took a different route,
But she was sitting on a fortune,
And a nice insurance policy to boot.
Grandpa paid off Santa for the reindeer,
"Accident" that happened Christmas Eve,
You may say I'm disrespecting Grandma,
But once you hear the facts, then you'll believe.
It was not coincidental,
He let her go home by herself,
I even think he had a back-up,
Cuz he stole her medication from the shelf.
Got some flack about this theory,
When I questioned cousin Mel,
But in his eyes I saw a flicker,
When he grabbed a beer and told me, "Go to Hell."
Grandpa paid off Santa for the reindeer,
"Accident" that happened Christmas Eve,
I know you're still getting over Grandma,
But I also noticed Grandpa didn't grieve.
Oh they thought they were so careful,
But Santa made some stupid moves,
Found a letter in the mailbox,
With a big vet bill for cupid's broken hooves.
You don't know that Ol' Chris Kringle,
He's a hit-man on the side,
It's not the bells that make him jingle,
And not kindness that allows him to survive.
I saw it Grandpa!
Grandpa paid off Santa for the reindeer,
"Accident" that happened Christmas Eve,
You may say I'm disrespecting Grandma,
But know you've heard the facts, don't you agree?
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" C.S.I. : North Pole "
The first reindeer passes by, and misses Grandma completely. Frame 161, you can see she stops waving goodbye and turns her head, as if she hears something. The second reindeer swoops over and knocks her wig off. Frame 217, you can see, she's already been hit. The third reindeer comes along and near stabs her with his cloven feet, the infamous "incriminating claus-marks on her back." At this point, you can see Governor Connally is still holding his Stetson, which is impossible if his wrist has been broken. The fourth reindeer comes along and kicks Connally in the arm, causing him to drop his hat. He says, "My God, they're all going to kill us!" Somewhere in here, there are three reindeer that miss Grandma completely. The sleigh breaks, and Santa swerves, and Dasher, the one reindeer who hasn't had at least one swipe, makes his move. This is the key snort. Rudolph's nose has been replaced by a strobe light, blinding Grandma to the second charge of the sleigh, and Dasher's antlers spike Grandma and push her back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left.
Best answer yet to the Grandma-reindeer story, better even than my own "I'm Driving Rudolph." By the way, in my nod to this and other conspiracies, I should have typed "the sleigh brakes," not "breaks."
I KNEW it! That shady grandpa...
LOL Jim! And Michael, think of it as a companion-story. ;-) I thought yours was great. I just figured... she forgot her meds, AND went by herself (when Grandpa was aparently available), AND he spent the next day watching football? I was going to add a stanza about Santa attending a flight school in Florida, but thought it might be going a bit too far...
This one sleighs me. Nice write Leah.
I love the way folks on this site think! This is just such a clever send-up - and right in the spirit of the original. 555!
Nice one! Yeah, it struck me as suspicious when Grandpa was watching football... (cue Twilight Zone, or do I mean X File, you know, the one that goes deedledeedledeedledeedle - and now I realise that's totally inappropriate but what the hell ^_^)
Thank you Guy, Stray Pooch, and Rissa!
I agree- Top Marks to this one! Well thought out- very inventive. I noticed a couple of spelling errors, that’s all.
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