Well, before we check out and go leave
We'll pack the van with free Bibles
We'll take few of the towels, savvy, too
We'll even take remote control

We'll give alarm clock to our newbie bride
We'll get a big stolen collection
No stolen treasures will make Brianna thief
Cause everybody takes this junk

Yo!
Steal Soap Brianna!
Soap Brianna!
Gimme Soap Brianna!
"Fore the owners come
Hand me soap, Brianna
Soap Brianna
Soap before the owners come

I see her take that dumb broken TV
She takes the mattress, it weighs a ton
It's what the owners of this bad Mo-ho-tel fear
It's thrilling, but it sure is fun

Sneak in suitcase a lamp and posters
Take this crap with a snatch and run
She doesn't care if the stuff and things she take
Is put there for everyone

Yo!
Steal Soap Brianna
Soap Brianna
Gimme Soap Brianna
"Fore the owners come
Toss me soap Brianna
Soap Brianna
Soap before the owners come

(A Robbery Solo)

She doesn't steal from other places
Cause in her head that's pretty shun
Brianna and I gave them lots a' money
Oh!
All they gave us was dump

Before you go and start that engine
Go grab everything but floor and walls
So in the bathroom, there this Brianna takes
For "Stressed Tourist Donation"
Oh!

Yo!
Steal Soap Brianna
Soap Brianna
Gimme Soap Brianna
"Fore the owners come
Slide me soap Brianna
Soap Brianna
Soap before the owners come

Even the plastic nightlight Jesus
Stole from this slop and into her van
Together they turned Inn Owners ill
Leave condom, and a soggy thong

And since I know that you're pissed Brianna
That I made ya stay in that there slum
Can't you see that our ride is leaning, Oh!
From all our stolen motel tourist junk, Oh!

Yo!
Steal Soap Brianna
Soap Brianna
Gimme Soap Brianna
"Fore the owners come
Pass me soap Brianna
Soap Brianna
Soap before the owners come