I went out searchin' for some goodies
Just couldn't find none home, ya' see
Hey, I ain't trying to be no fatso
It just comes naturally to me

I must 'a done two miles a' huntin'
My shoes were ready for new heels
Until I found that house of pastry
By the name of BakersYield

Chorus:

They don't know me, but said they liked me
Bought lots of cream puffs and pinwheels
Sat down on two stools, they couldn't budge me
After all of those Sweets Of BakersYield

They had donuts cooked in Crisco
Some with glaze and some with jam
I just kept feedin' all my fat cells
Then, thanked the baker, name was Sam
Tried to get up, but I could not move
Between those two stools, I was stuck
They had to call up Richard Simmons
and they told him to come with a big tow truck

They don't know me, but said they liked me
Too many cream puffs and pinwheels
Got stuck between two stools, they couldn't budge me
After all a' those Sweets Of BakersYield

They don't know me, but said they liked me
Loved all those cream puffs and pinwheels
Got stuck between two stools, they couldn't budge me
After all a' those Sweets Of BakersYield

Stuck between two stools. but it was worth it
Enjoyed all a' those Sweets Of BakersYield