Oh, I used to play some pro football,
back in my younger days
For this sack with ice, I sacrificed good health
Although I made a ton of money then,
The sands of time roll on
Good booze and women wiped out all that wealth

And now it's Knee Scars, Cataracts, And Pills Makin' Me Sick
I oughta' have a drugstore for a home
Oh yeah, my Knee Scars, Cataracts, And Pills Makin' Me Sick
Gout and Crohn's disease, and hemorrhoids hangin on

You'll get your interview ESPN, just hand me that Bud Light
I'll tell ya' anything ya' want ta' know
The dirt from all the guts and glory times
But, gotta' make it fast
Just a three minute warning of my life left to go

So, now it's Knee Scars, Cataracts, And Pills Makin' Me Sick
I oughta' have a drugstore for a home
With all these Knee Scars, Cataracts, And Pills Makin' Me Sick
Gout and Crohn's disease, and hemorrhoids hangin' on

Oh yeah, it's Knee Scars, Cataracts, And Pills Makin' Me Sick
Guess I oughta' have a drugstore for a home

Really oughta' have a drugstore for a home
Yeah, I oughta' have a drugstore for a home