It's a mystery to me why it's still showing.
Barney's still on TV--kids aren't growing.
Kids are losing information at rates so alarming.
We have seen humiliation and this isn't very charming.

I just ditched my television; I hate PBS.
I stand for precision and it's for the best.
Baby Bop and BJ, they welcomed Riff so recently.
Let the four fall by the leeway; they don't play so decently.

And what have you got when you turn your tube off?
A hole in your brain and a whooping cough!
The four drink much whiskey, although they're underage.
I just fear for kids who might never turn the page.

Scarred for life across this nation:
Barney's imagination.