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Song Parodies -> "Rectal Examinations (The Proctologists' Lament)"

Original Song Title:

"Private Investigations"

Original Performer:

Dire Straits

Parody Song Title:

"Rectal Examinations (The Proctologists' Lament)"

Parody Written by:

Merry & Pippin

The Lyrics

If you do not know the OS, a low bit-rate MP3 can be found here
Colonoscopy decreed !
Your face, it tenses...
In increasing degrees
The suspense is...
Proctologic’ infiltration
Fibr’optic wire-y
It’s approached with trepidation
It’s not like you all admire me...

Hear invective blurt-out retorts
Prodding some will hurt
You only meet a**holes
In this line of work
Anal probing reasons
The rectum’s never used to it
So when I find the sphincter
Lie still - and get used to it

Prostrate for prostate - put your end on display
Where’d tube of lube go anyway ?
To throttle me briskly I do know you would prize
Gloves on the digits leave a pain between the thighs

Scarred for life ?
That indicates some...
Rectal examinations

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

mandamoo - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
I had to laugh at this - but I'm glad I'm not a bloke...
The Gay Voice - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
OMG. . .OMG. . .what a wonderful parody. . .that's amazing (Rectal Examinations??!!) I never would have thought of that.
alvin - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
fits the "tense" tone of the OS well...this is right up
Matthias - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Sounds like such a depressing line of work.
AFW - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Enjoyed the funny take on this deep subject
Ann Hammond - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
Timmy1000 - December 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Just joined this site and Dire Straits has always been one of my favorite bands. This one seemed like it would have been tough to parody, but this is exceptional!
Peregrin - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Timmy1000, and Merry Christmas!
Christie Marie M - December 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Well put, Mer & Pip! I used to work in the hospitals so I'm exposed to this kind of thing I get so used to it. I also watch Discovery Health Channel often and saw documentaries on Rectal Exams. Interesting. 5's.

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