I know two ladies that had made the news
They were big stars and now they sing jailbird blues
A movie star and a Mouseketeer
It's very sad for me to weep and cry
For them

Wynona Ryder made a lot of dough
But, that poor hussy turned to crime and stole
A broken arm and career in shame
The stupid broad's crime is all to blame

Royalties weren't enough for her to get by
A pity
She's crying in her cell
Now, she needs to hope and pray
That she makes another movie
When will she learn
All she needs is money to earn

CHORUS
Why do you have to be a shoplifter
Is it the fact you get less royalties
Suddenly your stardom and career shatters
A shame for you
Why do you have to be a shoplifter
When you were being a true celebrity
Suddenly, every thing you ever wanted
You stole away
Now you're sorry
'Cause crime don't pay!

Darlene Gillespie was a Mouseketeer
But she wrote false bonds
And lied and made everything disappear
She broke the rules and now doing time
She made a life out of doing crime
Out of her mind, she had left a good life
It's a pity
Mickey ain't even happy
You made your life so crappy

Why do you have to be a shoplifter
When you were being a good Mouseketeer
Walt Disney would turn over his old tombstone
If he only knew

Oh,
Why do you have to be a shoplifter
Is it the fact you get less royalties
Suddenly your stardom and career shatters
A shame for you, Wynona, oh, oh

Why do you have to be a shoplifter
When you were being a true celebrity
Suddenly, every thing you ever wanted
You stole away, Darlene (Repeat and fade)